How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay

Public Libraries Singapore
publiclibrarysg
Published in
5 min readOct 9, 2023

What do you do when things are not okay?

Ever since the pandemic upended our lives, the concept of self-care and mindfulness have become important topics in our social conversations, whether it is day-to-day interactions, workplace dynamics or in the media we consume.

More than ever, the mental practice of being present in the moment is a necessary, powerful tool to regain balance.

Studies have shown that practicing mindfulness regularly can make people happier in the long run. In fact, these same techniques are used to treat individuals who suffer from anxiety and depression. Other scientifically-backed benefits include greater productivity with improved focus, enhanced quality of sleep and better cardiovascular health.

But even though we aspire to be more mindful or practice a little self-care, starting can feel difficult, especially with the demands of our commitments.

To help you along, we’ve put together five self-care and mindfulness tips, along with recommendations of the mental wellness books that inspired them.

1. Embrace the Big Feelings

Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy

Portfolio, 2022

Authors Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy are the duo behind @Lizandmollie and the wildly popular book, No Hard Feelings. Their second title is an insightful illustrated read on handling our toughest emotions.

Big Feelings normalises the whirlwind of emotions that individuals go through during tough times. Celebrating the ups and downs of our human journey, it encourages readers to welcome feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, or sad, rather than pushing them aside.

Cleverly weaving science with personal anecdotes and illustrations, each chapter approaches an uncomfortable feeling and explains how to navigate them. This book reassures you that you are not alone in your big feelings and goes beyond the fluff, helping you build genuine confidence throughout the process.

Get the book here: Physical Copy

2. Write It Down

The Power of Writing It Down by Allison Fallon

Zondervan, 2021

There is much power in a daily writing practice, as this book will spell out for you. While it might feel like a simple, negligible exercise many of us might have engaged in as children, writing is a transformative tool that can help you to identify your roots, seek out fresh motivations and relieve the frustrations of the day — even if you spend as little as five minutes writing daily.

In Allison Fallon’s words, “The research is clear: writing can help us manage negative emotional states, process our lives, and even heal from trauma. One of the reasons writing does this, I believe, is because it invites us, and even requires us, to look at our pain in a new way and for a long time. It requires contemplation.”

Get the book here: eBook, Audiobook

3. Breathe

The Art of Breathing: Secret to Mindful Living by Danny Penman

HQ, 2016

This concise book introduces the basic concepts of mindfulness, meditation and the art of thoughtful living. It’s a great guide to understanding something that can sound incredibly illusive, and author Danny Penman breaks it down to make it approachable through simple and concrete language and examples.

In it, Dr Penman discusses the importance of relinquishing attachments to the past and worries about the future, emphasising the transformative power of embracing the present moment. He also suggests practical exercises to reduce anxiety, stress, and unhappiness, while enhancing mental well-being and unleashing your creativity.

This book is an ideal companion for those seeking to grasp and harness the true potential of mindfulness in their everyday existence.

Get the book here: Physical Copy

4. Be Thankful

Thanks a Thousand by A. J. Jacobs

Simon & Schuster and TED, 2018

As author A. J. Jacobs succinctly puts it, “If something is done well for us, the process behind it is largely invisible.”

When Jacobs sets out on a quest to thank every single person involved in producing his morning cup of coffee, he soon realises that this seemingly straightforward task unravels into an eye-opening journey of discovery and connection with people who are often taken for granted in our daily lives.

Reminding us of these unsung heroes, this book helps you explore the power of gratitude, the far-reaching impact that can come from appreciating the contributions of others and how a simple act of gratitude can make a significant difference.

Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook

5. Sleep

Mindfulness and Sleep by Anna Black

CICO Books, 2018

Collectively, we spend millions of dollars simply trying to sleep better, whether through assistive devices, sleep retreats and even medication. Instead of breaking the bank seeking professional help to sleep better, you might want to consider giving this book a try first.

In Mindfulness and Sleep, author Anna Black goes into detail on how mindfulness can change your relationship with sleep and reduce stress at the same time. It suggests 25 practices and activities ranging from meditations for different times of the day, activities that seek to improve your habitual patterns and behaviour to support the body’s self-regulating sleep system.

Get the book here: Physical Copy

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Text by
National Library Board

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