Staying Connected: How to Overcome Loneliness
Loneliness.
As a child, it may have been when you were left out at the playground. As a teenager, it may be not having friends to hang out with. But what does loneliness look like when you’re older?
For one, different life stages and priorities as you grow older will shape your social activity and the relationships that you will nurture. Your physical health such as chronic illnesses or other age — related issues may also dictate the hows, whats and wheres of your social interactions.
Loneliness in old age can pose health concerns. A 2015 landmark study that quantifies the impact of loneliness on longevity and the quality of life among seniors found that seniors who experience loneliness not only lived at least three years less than their peers, they also spend less time in good health or being active.
Still, loneliness does not discriminate. A recent study conducted in Singapore found that those aged 21 to 34 have a higher loneliness score than other age groups.
It is important to note that there is a distinction between loneliness and social isolation. Loneliness refers to feelings of distress or discomfort due to the gap between the desire for social connection, and the experience of it. Social isolation on the other hand is marked by a low number of family and friends, as well as the quality of those interactions. Hence, you can feel lonely even if you’re not socially isolated.
So, how do you feel less lonely?
Acknowledge your feelings of loneliness and don’t get caught up in negative self-talk. Instead, think about the opportunities out there and focus on forging new meaningful connections. Whether it is joining an interest group where you can find like-minded individuals, or setting time aside to connect with family and friends, social connections are key to feeling more happy and less lonely.
Looking for inspiration in connecting with others? We round up three useful titles on how to be more intentional when it comes to building connections.
1. You Belong: A Call for Connection by Sebene Salassie
In this book, Sebene Selassie explores belonging, identity, and interconnectedness. Selassie emphasises that we are not separate from any other thing and that we are never truly alone. It may be difficult to believe at times, but learning to accept it will allow us to be more sure of our place in the world.
Selassie reminds us that a sense of belonging can be found in the smallest joys. It is up to us to seek the connections that bring us belonging and a sense of place. But first, we must believe that we are also worthy of the space that we take up.
Through introspective reflections and practical guidance, You Belong convinces us to resist the forces that demand separation and reclaim the connection and belonging that have been ours all along.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook
2. Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides by Geoffrey L. Cohen
Belonging takes a scientific approach to the challenge of connection. Drawing from extensive research in social psychology, Cohen explores how feelings of belonging influence behavior, relationships, and societal dynamics.
We may often forget that others have the same need for belonging that we do. Because of that, we may act in ways that damage others’ sense of belonging such as disregarding others’ feelings or pushing loved ones away. The book provides insights into how individuals and communities can foster a sense of belonging, and provide tangible solutions to improve our connections in daily life. Cohen suggests that small acts that establish connections may be the solution.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
3. Listen Like You Mean It: Reclaiming the Lost Art of True Connection
For many, listening is simply something we do unconsciously. We listen as much as necessary to go about our lives that sometimes we don’t even truly hear what people are saying.
Listening without understanding prevents us from having deeper and more empathetic conversations. Most of all, it prevents us from creating and maintaining connections because we miss understanding people at their core.
In Listen Like You Mean It, Ximena Vengoechea gives readers a listening guide, revealing tried-and-true strategies from her own research, drawn from interviews with people from a wide variety of careers.
Now more than ever, we need to feel heard, connected, and understood in a world that keeps trying to block us out. Warm, funny, and incredibly practical, this book shows you how.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
Growing older can feel isolating — the world around is evolving faster than we can understand it. But you shouldn’t be afraid to put yourself out there and welcome connection.
If you’re still feeling a little overwhelmed and would like some extra support and advice, join us at our Time of Your Life (TOYL) programmes!
Featuring informative talks, creative workshops, learning communities and resources, TOYL programmes are targeted to help seniors aged 50 and above thrive through the ages.
You can also access more TOYL resources here.
