If you’re a go-getter, you probably have a bucket list filled with the amazing things you want to do in life.
For the rest of us who get sian every time our kiasu friends humble-brag about their achievements every year, it’s time to present the Anti-Bucket List!
We’ve compiled a list of books made to turn any awesome life experience on its head, so let’s find a nice chair to curl up in and stay firmly put in our comfort zones.
1. Say no to road trips.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Nothing shouts ‘adventure’ more than hitting the open road with your best buds in tow. Once you’ve read this book about a father and son roaming a post-apocalyptic wasteland while dodging murderous cannibals, though, you’ll never think of road trips as fun little escapades anymore.
2. Stay away from anyone who wants to be BFFs.
Bunny by Mona Awad
Who doesn’t long for a tight-knit circle of best friends for life? You won’t after finishing Bunny. A group of girl friends in this campus novel takes the concept of #SquadGoals to the next level, but not before drawing in the unsuspecting protagonist into their rose-tinted grasp.
Female friendship turns blood-curdlingly dark as the girls pursue their twisted ambitions, all with a saccharine helping of positivity and bubbliness.
Get the book here: Physical Copy
3. Plan to sign up for a marathon? Nope. Just nope.
The Long Walk by Stephen King
No bucket list is complete without at least one sporty goal. Marathons remain popular in most people’s bucket lists because of how accessible they can be, even for novices.
In this novel, an annual contest pits a hundred teenage boys against each other. The winner receives whatever his heart desires. The catch? They can’t stop walking until the last man standing emerges. Sounds like we’d rather be staying at home instead.
4. Thinking of joining a band? Think about going solo instead.
We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix
Want to live out your fantasy of being a rockstar? This book will turn that fantasy into a nightmare.
The downtrodden female lead in this black comedy reminisces about her past in a heavy metal band in the 90’s — until she realizes that her soul had been bartered by a former band-member for fame and fortune. Enraged and hurt by betrayal, she sets out on a warpath to win back what she rightfully owns.
5. Whatever you do, stay FAR away from water sports at the beach.
The Fog Horn by Ray Bradbury
Something is astir on the island where two lighthouse keepers tend to the light. Through the mist, something ancient from the deep sea emerges, and it approaches the siren call of the fog horn that sounds at night.
Bradbury’s science fiction genius is still alive, bringing our oldest fears to the fore for us to face. What’s more terrifying than the bottomless depths of the dark sea?
Here’s to making your year memorable for all the wrong reasons! We challenge anyone to think up a more miserable bucket list.
National Reading Movement
National Library Board