Why You Don’t Need to Have Kids to Read Parenting Books
Parenting is something many (or few) of us get to experience in our lifetime.
According to Singapore’s population trends statistics, more women are choosing to remain childless or single. Despite this, the parenting book industry is booming, with titles catering to a wide range of needs from parents and children alike. So it may not come as a surprise that within this glut of titles, there are books that speak to more than just parents or parents-to-be.
Not only do these books present a wealth of information on how to nurture the next generation, they also provide insights into how the parenting we received growing up influences our thoughts and behaviours.
So what exactly can we take away from these books?
1. Be Less Harsh on Ourselves
Philippa Perry’s The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) explores how the parenting styles of our parents and caregivers influence our lives and the way we treat others. Perry, a renowned British psychotherapist, suggests that the behaviour of others can act as triggers to traumatic events from our past, causing us to react defensively in disregard of the situation at hand.
Perry postulated that we should all examine how and why certain behaviours trigger us, and how we, in turn, react and affect others. Conversely, being comfortable with our own background and emotions can also help us support and soothe other people’s distress. Acknowledging our own feelings goes a long way towards breaking the links in our “ancestral emotional chain”, allowing us to mend the past and build a more positive future.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook
2. Celebrate Our Differences
Dr W Thomas Boyce’s The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive is an excellent read for anybody who is remotely curious why some of us become over-achievers, thriving through life’s challenges, while others tank in the face of adversity.
A Distinguished Professor Emeritus in the Departments of Pediatrics and Psychiatry at the University of California, Dr Boyce spent years researching differences in children’s biological sensitivities. His book, wherein he likens children to flowers, describes two types of children: the “Dandelions” are children who are able to cope with stresses and hardships; and the “Orchids”, who are children sensitive to their environment and surroundings. Dr Boyce provides great insights into his research and shares extensively on his classification and traits of these “Orchid” and “Dandelion” children to show how parents can best create the environment for both to thrive.
For non-parents, Dr Boyce’s research opens up new perspectives on human behaviour and provides a great opportunity to understand ourselves better and increase our empathy for others as we go through life’s challenges. As Dr Boyce explains how our sociomeconomic status (SES), position in our family and our sensitivity affects our health, we can gain an important perspective into how we can all thrive better in modern society.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
3. Change is a Good Thing
Dr Dan Siegel’s The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity and Resilience in Your Child offers plenty of hope. Based on science, specifically interpersonal neurobiology, Dr Siegel shares on how parents can help children “re-wire” their brain to cope and thrive amidst all the triggers and demands of life.
A famed psychiatrist, Dr Siegel also taps on Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, which posits how our nervous system affects our reactions, to shed light on the ways we can help others and ourselves reach the “Yes Brain” state; a state in which we function well and our emotions are regulated.
This book provides background, insights, and suggestions on how we can fine tune our brain to work better for us. A really useful read!
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
All books featured are available via the NLB Mobile app or at our public libraries.
We publish our articles on our social media channels. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on our stories.
-
Text by
Cherie Loh
National Library Board
