You Are Not Listening!
We do it all the time. We claim “I hear you” and then space out to craft a quick text response on our phones. It is frustrating and annoying to people around us — but we do it anyway. Sadly, the art of listening is a skill that has long been overlooked in favour of honing more “useful” skills like financial management and the like. To be heard at all, people now turn to professional therapists, helplines and pets.
“When a person realises he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, “Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it’s like to be me”.
― Carl Rogers, Psychologist, Founder of Humanistic Approach to Psychology
So how can we all learn to listen better? Just like how the lyrics of a poignant song speaks to you during a bad break-up, perhaps the key is to be in the moment, pay attention and allow the words to resonate.
Here are three book recommendations (we recommend listening to the audiobook versions) to kickstart the learning process:
1. Love for Imperfect Things by Haemin Sunim
For easy one-liner quotes filled with potent life lessons, check out Love for Imperfect Things by Haemin Sunim. The Zen Buddhist author offers simple anecdotes and wise words that are soothing to the ears and comforts the soul. An international bestselling author, Sunim advocates self-acceptance and stresses the importance of self-love to build fulfilling relationships with others.
Listen intently and you’ll find yourself pausing reading often to reflect and ponder on Sunim’s eloquent thoughts and nuggets of wisdom. A 4-hour digest, the book is a reminder that if we listen well, a great deal of value can be found within just a few words.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
2. The Book of Ichigo Ichie: The Art of Making the Most of Every Moment, the Japanese Way by Héctor García & Francesc Miralles
Héctor García and Francesc Miralles, bestselling authors of the popular Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, return with The Book of Ichigo Ichie: The Art of Making the Most of Every Moment, the Japanese Way. The book introduces the concept of ‘mono no aware’, a Japanese term for the awareness of impermanence and encourages us to cherish fleeting times and bask in everyday moments.
Narrated beautifully by actor Louis Ozawa Changchien, the book makes for an easy 3-hour listen. This simple and unassuming title reminds us of the need to slow down and pay attention to the present — even if it means taking some time to listen well.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
3. Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts by Brené Brown
Level up with Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts by Brené Brown. Brown narrates the entire book in her trademark friendly tone and offers listeners useful tips on how to be a better leader in every aspect of life. Whether you’re a leader in your family, your workplace, or your social groups, Brown, an expert in studying shame and vulnerability, shares extensively on her BRAVING framework and how it can help us be better people.
8 hours of Brown’s witty narration provides a good base to hone listening skills and also pick up some life-changing leadership tools.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
In this anxiety-inducing climate, it can be rewarding to slow down, take a breather and learn to listen well. Try out these titles and be on your way to becoming a better listener and friend.
All books featured are available via the NLB Mobile app or at our public libraries.
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Text by
Cherie Loh
National Library Board
