An Abundance of Hardship is Not the Abundance I Wanted

I should have been more specific

Crystal Jackson


Photo by Richard R on Unsplash

At the start of the year, everyone was saying that this year was meant to be a year of abundance. I guess it’s written in the stars. I didn’t get the exact particulars. All I could think was that if anyone needed a year of abundance, it was me. I could really use some relief from this constant cyclone of stress I’m experiencing. But instead of an abundance of prosperity or peace, I’ve been subjected to an abundance of hardship.

I really should have been more specific.

Just when I overcome one obstacle, another one appears — larger and more menacing than the last. I’m tired, and I have so many obstacles in the rearview that the idea of facing another struggle feels overwhelming. I don’t want to do it. I don’t have a choice either.

My current stress level is unsustainable. I know this. I know that if I stay at this panic level of anxiety, my health will falter. I’ll get sick and can’t afford to get sick right now. I’ll get a rash caused by stress, and I don’t have the energy for that either. I could sit here and focus on what I don’t have, or I could come up with a plan for the minefield of challenges in front of me.

I start with gratitude.