Dating Is Also An Investment
And most of the time, it’s not cheap
“So I broke up with her,” my friend told me.
“Oh, shoot,” I said, “Sorry man. I really thought she was the one for you.”
“Me too, but no worries. I have a new one now.”
At that moment, I was shocked. I looked at him with wide eyes, thinking that he just lost his mind. “Excuse me? You just broke up. Don’t you want to reflect first?”
“Nah, I’m good. Can’t linger in the past for too long, right?”
That was a paraphrased conversation I had with my friend, who moved on so fast just after breaking up and now he got a new one.
I’m not saying that what he did was wrong, but I find this “move on and move in fresh” thing a little too rushed if done without further reflection.
It’s good that it didn’t take him emotionally, but I’m not sure I can say the same for his now ex.
For we girls are more emotional.
Dating costs money too
I know that I sound bad for looking at this like it’s a financial statement, but I think it’s necessary too.
This is so that we can think twice about the person we are dating and not just spout “I like you” only to end up breaking up in the next few months.
Dating comes with a cost, especially for men. They must put in more effort when they date or pick someone to go out with, bring us to a good place to spend time together, and just be together to strengthen our relationships.
It’s not to say that women don’t take our money out too.
We, too, have to maintain our appearance to appear pretty for our men. And maintaining our skin and overall appearance ain’t cheap either; it’s a lot of skincare.
That’s why I said that dating is an investment, except that it involves emotions.
And just like every investment, they must be carefully considered.
Picking the right date isn’t easy
“Why aren’t you dating anyone yet?” a relative of mine once asked.
“Oh, I guess I’m not ready yet, and I haven’t found someone yet,” I answered sheepishly.
“I see. Okay, but don’t wait too long or the train might leave soon,” she said.
It’s not as if I don’t want to date at all.
But I think these days, it’s not as simple as it was before.
Or maybe I’m just picky. I don’t know.
And ultimately, since we are all human beings, being the right one and finding the right one isn’t easy.
It all started when I heard stories from my friends and colleagues about marriages.
“You know Nicole, my colleague told me that he’s working two-three jobs in order to cover his wedding,” my friend told me.
“Wait, what?” I got curious, “Can’t he delay the wedding then?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, but they both seem to want to get married. I just hope that he’s all right.”
I hope so too.
I mean, why get married when you know you can’t afford your wedding yet?
I know there are stories where couples got married and figured out their financial difficulties after, but I don’t think that’s how it works nowadays.
These days, just marrying for love, sadly, isn’t enough.
Not only do you have to look at their character and how they react if bad things come their way, but you also have to know if they can work. Especially for men, since most of the time, they are going to be the ones who will mostly provide for the family.
We, women, have it difficult too.
If we wait too long, the chances of being able to conceive a child will be harder.
And let’s face it, men would prefer looks first before their brains. Taking off our looks is also not simple, and as we age, it gives us fewer chances to ‘attract’ a man.
It’s a huge investment on both sides.
And if it falls apart, let’s say divorce, that too isn’t easy. The emotions of facing it are heavy and harsh. It could even make someone depressed.
Because divorce is expensive, physically and mentally.
Don’t get into a relationship just for the social media status
“Nic, why aren’t you dating anyone yet?” My grandma asked.
“Hmm, I guess I haven’t found yet,” I replied.
“You should really stop denying whom God wants you to meet and date,” she said with an annoyed voice, “No wonder you’re still single.”
“Yea, but God also gives us a healthy brain to choose the person God gave us, right?”
In 2020, divorce and breakup rates all over the world spiked.
The UK had it the most, recording about 122% of enquiries between July and October. I assume that the divorce lawyers must have been busy during those months.
This goes to show that the colourful picture we see on social media isn’t as colourful as it is portrayed.
Additionally, it showed that we should reflect first about who to marry and think about longevity when thinking about dating someone.
Then again, no one is perfect, and people change over time. So it’s hard to predict what you and your spouse would like and not like in the future.
But it’s better to reflect and carefully choose than to lose a lot more money ‘trying’ to date someone just for a fling or something.
If done right, it’ll be the best investment ever
Now, I’m not doing this to say being single is better.
Marriage can become the best investment ever if we choose our partners carefully, just like any investment we make.
People older than me always told me that
“It’s better to be single than end up with the wrong person for the rest of your life.”
So if you find the right person to date and marry, I think it’ll totally be worth it.
In 2022, my cousin, who is the same age as me, got married. They have known each other for nearly five years, have done their background checks, and have agreed to get married.
And so far, from what I’ve seen, their marriage is doing pretty well. They help and support each other, and financially, they are in a good spot. So, I think they are doing well.
Pewdiepie and Marzia got married in 2019, and so far, from what I’ve seen in the vlogs, he seems to be doing pretty well too. They both knew each other before Youtube was a thing, so it’s safe to say that they both were pretty careful in choosing their spouses.
Thus, making their marriage a great investment.
Again, I’m not a love expert.
But I think if we really think carefully and reflect on what we want from our spouse, and what we can offer to our spouse, then our checklists can be filled nicely.
And that dating is worth it.
