Everything Has Changed: Adam Struggles After the Fall
It's so cold.
The sun is still shining in exactly the same place is was a moment ago, except now the warm rays must be bouncing around me. Instead of it's warmth I only feel the judgement it's rays carry.
Why must the sun be so bright? All it does is expose what is meant to be hidden.
Hidden? I've never been worried about needing to hide before. I've been free to run through the garden with the animals. I've explored over the land and through the rivers.
We've shared this overbearing...no, not overbearing. It's beautiful. We've shared this beautiful world together.
Eve. My wife.
She was a gift to me. We have been working together, tending to the garden. Finally an answer to the longing deep within my being. She was perfect.
Is. She is perfect.
What is happening in my mind? I feel like a battle has been waged and I already lost before I even realized it had begun.
I need to be covered. What if He comes around. What if he sees me?
Why had I never realized? How is it possible we have spent all of this time exploring together and not realized how vulnerable we are? I need to be protected.
"I am your protection." His words resound inside my mind. He had affirmed His constant watch over us during an evening walk. The sun had been enveloped by the horizon and the sky left behind had taken on breathtaking, warm colors.
All of the colors now seem dull. The lush green of the trees appear bland. The flowers which had bloomed only this morning seem to be knocking on death's door.
The night had fallen after our walk that evening and He had left Eve and I to lay and gaze at the vibrant stars in the sky.
How I wished it was night right now. A night with no moon, no stars. I could hide in the dark easier that way.
Perhaps then He would have more trouble finding us. More trouble finding me.
And what if He did find her? She was the one who tricked me. I was just standing back, minding my own business. We had been tending to the trees in the garden. I'm not sure how we ended up so near that tree. I can't even remember who was leading who anymore. It was probably her. Yes, I'm sure of it, almost sure.
Then she got talking to that snake. I've always had difficulty understanding snakes so how was I to know what it was saying? I just decided to tune it out.
Next thing I know Eve is handing me some fruit which she had already taken a bite of. Just like her to just give me the leftovers. She couldn't even bother to pick me a fresh one.
Anyway, like I said, I had not even been paying attention and she handed me this fruit to eat. If I did not take a bite she would have been, offended. Yes, offended. It may not have ever happened before but it sounds just like the kind of thing a woman would become.
So, I took it. I felt the tingle of the fruit in my fingertips. I'm not sure how, but it even felt delicious before I took a bite. Then I carried out the action.
Now I'm here. Cold and alone.
There, now I just need to rehearse that a few more times. I'd be convinced of my innocence. I certainly hope He is.
I hear Him now. Maybe I should just hide here in this bush, just in case.