How to Make Small Talk Big Enough to Enjoy
Turn casual conversations into meaningful connections
When Annabelle was a teenager, her uncle worked at a venue that hosted popular bands. When her favourite group was due to perform, she got her the chance to meet them.
Shaking, she stood in front of her idol. “Hello,” he said, “What’s your name?”
“Annabelle,” she told him, “What’s yours?”
Twenty years later, she still blames this event for her crippling distaste for small talk. She is so nervous about saying something stupid that she’d rather not say anything. She even cuts her hair so she doesn’t have to endure a hairdresser asking if she’s been away this year.
But her husband’s new position involved a lot of socialising, so she’d come to me for help.
Why Do You Dread Small Talk?
Annabelle isn’t the only client who complained about having to make small talk. The wife of a prominent politician told me she hated cocktail parties where people repeated the same trite sentences.
“It’s pointless,” she told me, “shallow and irrelevant.”
For some, small talk is the lowest form of communication. It’s a filler to avoid silence and appear polite.
