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How to Raise a Man When You’re Not Sure You Like Them Much
Loving your child without projecting your issues
I’m careful. I have to be. I’m raising a little boy who will grow up to be a man. Not just any man. A white man in a world where white men have so much power and privilege — which often equates to entitlement.
When I first thought about parenting a son, I thought about what I didn’t want. I didn’t want him to become an entitled grown man looking for a caretaker rather than a partner. I didn’t want him to be a person who was ignorant about consent — or worse, blatantly ignores it.
But later, these ideas evolved. I wanted to raise a child who was kind and sensitive, capable of expressing emotions clearly, and able to identify all the emotions — not just anger. I wanted to communicate about equality in a way that made it his cause as much as my own. I wanted to raise a good person, regardless of gender — a person who could see beyond their own inherent privilege.
But it’s hard as hell trying to parent any child in this world. It’s not just because of advances in technology. Parenting has always been a challenge. I realized recently that to raise him well, I need to check some of my own biases at the door.
