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How To Stop Thinking Everyone is Better or Smarter Than You.

They’re really not!


We are our own worst critics. We too often think that Sally of John is way better or smarter than we are. Worse yet, we often think we’re simply not good enough. I used to think like that all the time.

So this issue came up in two separate Facebook lives I did. One as a guest, and then my own. On my Live, I talked about how our limiting beliefs keep us thinking we’re not _________ (fill in the blank) enough. “Oh I’m not as good as Mary. She’s fantastic at that. I couldn’t possibly compete”.

Compete?? When did life become a fucking competition? No one asked you if you were as good as Mary. We want you to be as good as you. Fuck Mary (well not literally).

How smart are you really?

You know, there’s a ton of shit I know nothing about. I can’t talk about politics, or current events or world history and definitely not geography. Nope, can’t do it. Colour me clueless. But I can talk your ear off about Angels, and gemstones and Feng Shui and hair, oh how I love to talk about hair. I’m really smart at these things. I know this.

Does that make me stupid because I don’t know where the fuck Istanbul is? Nope.

I’m just really smart at lots of other things, just not world things and shit they teach us in school. I bet you know all the capitals of every country on the planet. Kudos! I’m in awe. Honestly. That’s your smart.

But I’m too dumb for that.

Every Thursday night here in my tiny little expat/indigenous town of Panajachel Guatemala, we play Trivia. I totally suck at about 80% of the questions. Yup, I do and I told my partner (who’s painfully fucking brilliant) that I’m too dumb for this game and he insists “you know shit I don’t, that other 20% that I’m clueless on. You’re a fantastic partner”.

It made me stop and think. Think about the limiting beliefs that I’ve been subscribing to for the last 50+ yrs of my life. That I’m too dumb. I’m not smart like all the other kids in the class. I’m not smart like all the other people I hang out with. They know SO much stuff that I don’t.

When do we stop thinking we’re not smart enough?

It wasn’t until the last few years that I started to realize how smart and great I really am. Now I don’t mean that in an egotistical way. Not at all. You see, for years, I felt dumb, was convinced I was dumb and thought I was just this small, shy, submissive mouse that would jump every time you asked me to.

That all changed about 3 years ago.

It was when I finally left my abusive relationship (boom, there it is) that I had to fight for myself. Do things on my own. Push limits, face fear, learn new things, be brave and pull up my big girl panties. At the time, it all fucking sucked and I hated doing it. I was scared, alone and borderline pathetic.

This whole life thing, man I was clueless. But I had no choice.

See how great you really are?

I slowly started to reinvent my life. Hardest thing I’ve ever done. Who am I? What am I capable of? How far can I go? What am I good at and what do I suck at (and should either learn how to do or stay away from altogether)?

So in the other Live I did, the one I was a guest on, she brought up the fact that some Facebook page owners are really small and don’t get seen or recognized by the masses and that they were just “little” and almost insignificant.

I called bullshit on that one.

My Facebook page started at 0 just like everyone else’s. I pushed and learned new shit and kicked down doors to get my message out. I did whatever I had to do to make a name for myself in the personal development world. I mean, when you’re up against the likes of Tony Robbins, Rhonda Byrne and Les Brown, you really have to jump up and down waving your arms in the air to get seen.

You’re greater than you think.

It was then that I really and truly realized I AM great! I AM smart. I AM better than better. I reached out and connected with like-minded people in the PD world. If someone said no to something I’d go find someone who would say yes to me. I started really stepping into my personal power, my greatness. Limiting beliefs took a back seat right quick.

Soon I was rubbing elbows with the likes of Dean Graziosi, Bryant McGill, Steven Aitchison, and other PD gurus. How the fuck did that happen?

Because I was done playing small. I was done thinking small and thinking I was too dumb for greatness. Here I was, practically a nobody from Sudbury, Ontario, Canada who traded in her 25+ yr career as a hairstylist in a mall for a life as a freelance writer living in sunny Guatemala and hanging (virtually) with some of her idols.

So how the fuck did that happen anyway?

I started believing in myself. I realized that life was just too damn short to live and play small. I found my voice, my passion and my purpose. I broke walls and raised the roof. I found my “why” and it was huge! I not only tested waters, I jumped right in and rode the surf.

Why? Because I’m not small or stupid or insignificant. I have a voice and suddenly I’m not so afraid to use it anymore. Because this is my life and it’s the only one I got. If I want to make a difference in the world, I have to show people that anyone can do it, no matter how small you think you are.

And then there’s that old saying…

You know the one. If I can do it, anyone can. Well, I hate to say it but…

…if I can do it anyone can.

I mean it. It’s not that I’m smarter or braver or better than you. I just decided that it was time to take a long hard look at my life and make necessary changes. I was just fucking tired of being that small, shy and submissive mouse. That’s not who I am.

That’s not who you are either. You have a voice and a gift and some amazing greatness in you. Each and every one of us do. Find it, embrace it and show it off to the world.

You have gifts and skills and talents that no else in the whole wide world have. Your talents and smarts are yours and yours alone. You are SO not dumb or less than anyone else. YOU are brilliant and magnificent and it’s time you owned that shit!

Just because one of your friends knows every country of the world and you don’t doesn’t make you dumb!! You probably know amazing stuff she doesn’t!!

We are all smart and gifted and brilliant in our own way. No one is above or below us. Don’t ever forget that ❤

You’re smarter and better than you think. I believe in you.

Where the fuck is Istanbul anyway?

Peace and Love

xo iva xo



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