I’m Scared That 20 Years Ago I Killed Myself
How to cope when your scars come back to haunt you
I don’t like to talk about my feelings
Someone asked me to talk about my feelings. In unrelated news do you know how to dispose of a body?
They asked me online how I felt that they’d been mean to me on social media — or something like that, anyway, it’s a long story and unimportant to this one.
They’d gone to great lengths to issue me a written apology and wanted a reply. How did it make you feel? That’s what they wanted to know.
I wanted to scream. That’s how it made me feel.
Not because of anything they’d done or said. But precisely because what they wanted to know was completely irrelevant.
To what I’m going through. To what I’m doing. To how I feel.
At the time I was getting ready to go to the hospital.
I had to have an emergency X-ray of my leg to check whether I’ve an infection in the bone.
I probably don’t — if I do then it’s life threatening — but either way something is wrong with my leg.
My leg has been infected and bleeding for several months and I finally decided that it was time to do something…
