Individualism: Why We Shouldn’t Go It Alone
Strong communities build better people
Individualism has been the overriding drumbeat of modern times. From career choice to burger toppings, our social systems gear themselves toward maximizing individual opportunity and personal fulfillment. The objective is to make sure that you have all the options in life which you could want, and many choices that you never (ever) realized were important at all (24 different types of coffee drinks).
To be sure: there’s been a lot of positive progress in many areas, with more economic, social, and educational opportunities available to more people than at any other time in recorded history. But everything has a cost. What have we lost in this constant march toward the maximizing of the individual experience?
Quite a lot.
We’ve lost community cohesion; many of us live in zip codes but not in connection with our neighbors.
Our households feel more like hotels than homes; we pass each other for meals, set about our individual schedules.
We’ve seen the rise of communities and groups that are connected in name only; membership in an arbitrary club, or an online association.
Community is a word that is bandied about repeatedly, and we encourage our children and society to “care for everyone,” i.e., the entire world is supposedly our community. But on the other hand, we are urging everyone to care first and foremost about themselves. The marketing machines tell everyone listening that their happiness, goals, and satisfaction from hobbies and holidays, to careers and marriage, is what it’s all about. How can we be a productive member of a community if personal fulfillment dominates our attention and focus? It’s a paradox that we need to confront if we are engaged in a life well-lived, and we should start first with our attitudes, actions, and outlooks.
The Tribe
The elites in the media and intellectual circles (regardless of political bent) decry the rising populist wave and the seeming resurgence of tribalism amongst different peoples. But if you follow the societal trends, it’s understandable. What is a tribe other than a sense of belonging, of being part of a group?
Tribalism is the natural human response to rampant individualism marching lockstep with globalization. In the past several decades, the world has gotten increasingly broader in scope for most of us; our grandparents would not comprehend how we could read daily briefings from the front lines of the Syrian civil war from our computer, in our living room.
Suddenly the sheer largeness of the world has come rushing into daily contact and consciousness. Into this vast world, modern man (as a single individual) has been ushered in and told to enjoy convenient modernity and all its amusement and trappings. It’s no wonder we are so distractible and bent on entertainment; the world is a vast place, and many of us are facing it virtually alone. Have you tried being in the world, with all the modern trappings of individual choice and options, but without a strong support network, without a community? Without a foundational purpose? How’s the temperature of that water? Here’s a hint: it’s cold.
Optimization
Optimization is based around squeezing the last available bit of efficiency or utility out of something. For the push toward individualism, the optimization means personal interests and fulfillment are paramount; the bent of society should be “made to order.” But there’s a catch: the maximizing and optimizing of your happiness is not the objective of a life well-lived.
What is the highest good?
What makes life worth living?
How do we each live a full and productive life?
Answers to these questions are not found pursuing the selfish, narcissistic, and ultimately lonely road of the individual. Instead, they are found by taking energy and vision and applying it to the services of a group or community. This group could be as small as your immediate family and friends or as large a whole city or town; the point is that your worldview is not centered around making sure that your particular interests are wholly satisfied and unimpeded. Instead, you focus on making sure that you are both useful and productive to a broader sphere of influence.
Responsibility
We have a responsibility to our communities if we’re willing to shoulder the mantle. People in those communities have needs, problems, and hopes. We may have within us the right answer to their unique set of challenges. The world is a daunting place, it’s better not to go it alone, and we have to remember that it’s within these circles of relationships and mutual dependence, of interlocking goals and shared memories
It’s our responsibility to get stuck in and be that glue that cements the goals, strengthens the bonds, and creates the memories. It’s our responsibility to help push our community forward to success, to set it up for future wholeness, not merely revel in our accomplishments.
Virtuous Choices
When we place ourselves above our community, we face several primary problems. One of these is the fact that we are not encouraged to make choices; real and responsible decisions that might be to our disadvantage. Since we never factor in the community’s needs, we rarely have to decide about how our actions will affect it. But this emphasis on personal choice and freedom is a modern product. Go back to the writers of antiquity; what values did they espouse as comprising a full life?
- Duty
- Sacrifice
- Charity
- Patience
- Temperance
- Courage
Most of these classical character traits can only be robustly found and wholly expressed in the context of a group and community. We love freedom, and we adore autonomy. But freedom to do what? What are we using all of our options and resources for? Why do we need to be free to do as we please?
That’s the kind of freedom that a child strives for; to bend the universe to their will. Individualism keeps us young, but not in a healthy manner. It keeps us child-like and narcissistic. We will have more in common with toddlers and small children, who each view the world through a lens of convenience and self-absorption. You are not the center of the universe, and neither am I. Our choices and commitments should reflect that reality.
Commitment
Commitment is the start of the journey; you need to plant your flag somewhere to gain your footing in the world. Committing gives us some mooring, provides a foundation from which we can move forward through life. A community can be many things: a family, a close circle of friends, a church, a geographic city, or town. And we understand that by saying “Yes.” to that group(s), we must say “No.” to others. And that’s fine. That’s how things get done, by prioritization and choice.
Committing to a group makes us temper our expectations for options; our hunger for individuality fades as we realize the value that we both provide and gain from the group. Our culture has sold us a bill of goods that we will only find happiness and success by being unfettered and wholly free in our individual choices and a primarily solitary path through life. Such thinking is a lie and denies our innate desire for community, purpose, and vision. We would do well to steer clear of it and, instead, launch ourselves into being the very foundations that thriving communities need.
Moving forward
Do you approach life as an individualist?
If you already have a community, work on strengthening those bonds, the group likely needs your help.
Originally published at https://fjwriting.com on February 12, 2020.
