Liberate Yourself From Jealousy And Rejoice In The Good Fortune Of Others
You can’t be friends with someone who wants your life
“You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars” — Gary Allan
No one likes to feel jealousy, but if we’re honest with ourselves, most of us will admit to having felt this emotion at one time or another.
Although jealousy is part of the human experience,
it doesn’t have to rule our lives.
Instead of jealousy,
how about learning to rejoice in the good fortune of others?
Is that so hard?
With the above in mind, let’s look at four areas:
- Causes of jealousy;
- Secrets of success in overcoming jealousy;
- Benefits of rejoicing in the good fortune of others; and
- How to rejoice in the good fortune of others.
1. Causes Of Jealousy
(*) Scarcity mindset.
Have you ever felt as though someone else’s success and happiness takes away from your own?
If you believe that the world is an abundant place, jealousy becomes far more difficult.
This negative emotion can sometimes be merely a symptom of a scarcity mindset.
Consider that if someone you know is doing really well, you’re also helped by their success. They’re more enjoyable to be around. The positive feelings that they have will naturally be spread to everyone around them. This is a good thing.
Or would you much prefer to be surrounded by people who are struggling and unhappy?
Those who are doing extremely well can also serve as inspiration — they show us what is possible.
Being surrounded by people who are excelling where you’re challenged may actually help to lift you to a new level of success.
(*) “You vs. Them” mindset.
Jealousy is very much based on the ego.
To feel jealous, you must believe that reality is a “you vs. them” situation.
If someone else gets that prestigious new job, now you can’t have it. They won, so you must have lost. But there are essentially an unlimited number of great jobs, houses, cars, boyfriends, and girlfriends.
(*) Jealousy begets more jealousy.
Those who are routinely jealous seem to attract a lot of situations that cause even more emotional pain.
For example, if you lose that great promotion to someone else and are oozing jealousy, then you’re probably not going to seem very attractive to some great new girlfriend. Then you’re jealous about that, and so on.
2. Secrets Of Success In Overcoming Jealousy
Jealousy can also serve as a guide.
The things that fill you with the greatest sense of frustrated desire are likely the things that you want the most, but currently don’t have.
If you’re incredibly jealous of someone’s romantic relationship, your emotions are simply a wake-up call. They’re really telling you that a great relationship would be a meaningful addition to your life, so it would be good to focus on bringing a fulfilling relationship into your life.
Now that you’re paying attention to what your jealousy is really telling you, you have a good idea of where you should be focusing your energy.
When you use your jealousy in this manner, you’re accomplishing several things:
(*) Depersonalizing the issue.
When you view your jealousy as simply feedback from your brain, you’re far less likely to go to an unproductive place in your mind. This emotion isn’t about your inability to have something you want. Instead, it’s just letting you know what you want.
(*) Allowing jealousy to serve as guidance.
Now you’re using your negative feelings to propel yourself forward in a positive direction.
(*) Improving your life.
As you focus on obtaining what you desire, you’re bound to improve your life. Once you take care of a few of the bigger items, there won’t be much left to be jealous about anyway.
3. Benefits Of Rejoicing In The Good Fortune of Others
(*) Dispel your anxieties.
Viewing the world as a zero sum game where another person’s win is your loss is bound to cause tension.
Thinking in terms of abundance will ease your anxieties and help you enjoy more peace of mind.
(*) Liberate yourself from jealousy and envy.
Jealousy and envy are unpleasant emotions and can sabotage relationships that you value. When you share in their joy, you eliminate envy.
(*) Find more reasons to celebrate.
If you enjoy the opportunity to celebrate when you have good news of your own, you can multiply those good times. Seize every opportunity to cheer for the success of others as well as the events in your own life.
(*) Increase your personal happiness.
You create the causes for your own happiness by the way you think.
Recognizing the positive things in life will increase your happiness.
It’ll also make your good feelings more stable than the temporary pleasures of any single individual.
(*) Strengthen your relationships.
People are more likely to respond positively to you if they sense that you’re truly happy for them. There’s a reason why marriage vows typically specify for better and for worse. Healthy relationships involve sharing both ups and downs.
(*) Pay it forward.
Paying it forward is an enduring concept because it works. Giving unselfishly enriches us all regardless of the beneficiary.
4. How To Rejoice In The Good Fortune Of Others
(*) Focus on others rather than yourself.
It’s easy to get caught up in your own struggles. Be sure to keep in touch with what’s going on in the lives of the people around you.
Others may be bashful about mentioning their own victories but still appreciate having their efforts recognized.
(*) Examine the consequences of jealousy and envy.
Be honest with yourself when you notice any jealous tendencies. The more clearly you see them, the more motivated you’ll be to put them aside.
(*) Contemplate the good things in your own life.
It can be difficult to feel good for other people while you’re feeling deprived. Remind yourself of all the wonderful things you have to be grateful for.
(*) Embrace artificial steps if necessary.
It’s okay to use some artificial gestures to get started. Even if you’re not purely happy that your ex-husband got an award, you can say something gracious and imagine how good it would feel to have no reservations about congratulating him.
(*) Start with the people you love.
Getting instantly excited about the lives of strangers may be beyond your grasp at the present time. Instead, you can focus on the people you love. For example, for most parents, it’s natural to feel great enthusiasm about every developmental milestone in their child’s life.
(*) Work your way up to dealing with things you wanted for yourself and people who you find difficult.
With practice, you’ll be able to tackle the more sensitive issues. When you find the techniques that work with the people you love, you can use those same strategies during more challenging circumstances.
jealousy is largely the result of a scarcity mindset.
If you truly believe that there’s plenty to go around, you aren’t capable of being jealous.
Work on that and you’ll see that someone else’s success doesn’t limit your own.
jealousy can be used as a tool to serve you and improve your life.
Ask yourself why something makes you so envious and then seek to resolve it.
Be savvy about your emotions, and jealousy can actually work for you instead of against you.
rejoicing in the good fortune of others improves your relationships and brings more happiness into your life.
There are major benefits to sharing in the joy of others, and there are ways that you can adopt this powerful way of thinking.
Rejoicing in the good fortune of others is an accurate and constructive way of looking at the world.
Welcome more joy into your own life and strengthen your relationships by taking delight in the well-being of others.