Making Lemons from Lemonade — Wait. What???

Crystal Jackson
Apr 30, 2019 · 4 min read
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Photo by Azamat Zhanisov on Unsplash

We focus so much on creating our lives that we forget the value of deconstruction. After all, why would we take something apart when it already fits together? We can’t exactly make lemons when we already have lemonade.

Or can we?

The reality is that we need the lemons to make lemonade in the first place.

Looking closely at why we are the way we are helps us to make intentional, conscious choices.

I’ve spent the last few years of my life taking apart my past choices. I needed to know how I ended up in the marriage I had so that I could process my divorce. I needed to understand what went into my relationship decisions so that I could figure out how to have healthy ones. I needed to track my career trajectory so I could understand what I wanted and didn’t want in terms of work and finances. I needed to know what kind of person I am because the life I had built was breaking down.

My life was falling apart, and I needed to know how to rebuild without making the exact same mistakes I’d made before. I’d have to deconstruct it in order to construct something stronger in its place, and I prepared myself for the demolition of everything I had created from my own choices.

I had gone so far down one road that it had been difficult to turn back. I can see that now, how I had committed to a path and then refused to deviate from it when I knew better. My absolute loyalty became the crutch I leaned on as I hobbled down a broken path to a destination I had chosen when I didn’t quite know myself. I would make lemonade from the lemons life had given me, and it didn’t occur to me to stop and assess if the direction I was going was what I really needed.

I stayed stuck in a pattern, and it had been created long before my marriage, long before my first relationship. I had learned about self-love and self-worth from not having any and then building it from scratch out of little more than grit and a desire to make my life brighter and braver than anything I could have imagined before.

I had to look at the pattern and understand it before I could start declining the life that wasn’t meant for me in order to let in the life that was.

I had to make hard choices and to explore different possibilities for my life.

It meant accepting flaws and accepting that the only standards I needed to follow were the kind I set for myself. Out went the rulebook and life’s handy recipes with its carefully written instructions. I would have to see what worked for me and what didn’t and make decisions with only that in mind.

But personal growth isn’t possible when we refuse to look at the lemons that make up our particular lemonade.

If it does, we can keep drinking that particular lemonade forever. If it doesn’t, maybe we need to make orange juice. Or raspberry lemonade. Or… well, you get it, right? It’s not about sticking with our decisions for all time because we once chose that direction. It’s about figuring out who we are and choosing a life that suits us, not making the best of the path we’re on already.

That’s making lemons from lemonade.

Or maybe that’s just living our lives with intention, crafting them every day in a way that resonates with us at a soul-level.

Publishous

How to be your best self.

Crystal Jackson

Written by

Former therapist. Author, Heart of Madison series. Poet. www.crystaljacksonwriter.com https://subscribe.to/crystaljackson https://linktr.ee/crystaljackson

Publishous

Make tomorrow better today.

Crystal Jackson

Written by

Former therapist. Author, Heart of Madison series. Poet. www.crystaljacksonwriter.com https://subscribe.to/crystaljackson https://linktr.ee/crystaljackson

Publishous

Make tomorrow better today.

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