Marry Someone You Can Divorce
Chances are, we’re all going to end up a bit divorced.
It sounds terrible.
I mentioned the title of this piece to my 20-year-old daughter, and she immediately screwed up her nose, uttering, “What? Why?”
Well, because we live in a paradoxical society, we have quick-fix solutions to what we think are our fundamental needs. They tell us we need connection, but instead of connection, we’ve created a society that breaks down connection, artificially inseminating connection in all ways, shapes, and forms. The result? Infinite access to fickle and dopaminergic substitutions for intimacy.
There. I said it.
We have essentially created an epidemic of loneliness.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not an advocate for divorce. I never married to divorce eventually — twice. Nor did I take my wedding vowels with a grain of salt. I was invested in keeping the connection alive. I believed in love and commitment, and I surrendered fully to the monogamous institution of marriage in its hallowed laws — until one day, I didn’t anymore.
Then I got divorced.
Twice.
But this isn’t just about me or why my marriages failed. Both experiences and men were vastly different and formed…
