Parenting with Open Arms
Releasing our children to God is sometimes a very difficult task.
I am by nature a creature of habit, so I was very uneasy about the nudging I was feeling deep inside. I could almost hear the words…
Get ready. It’s time for a change.
Change was not a word I cared too much for. It meant uncertainty and loss of control. However, if I was completely honest, this whole change thing really wasn’t much of a surprise. After all, it had become apparent that our family was spread way too thin. We lived in one town. My husband worked in another town. Our children attended school in yet another town, and we were members of a church in, you guessed it, a fourth town. This lack of consistency was beginning to take a toll on all of us.
We began weighing our options. We could sell our house and land, but honestly that thought was too overwhelming. It definitely wouldn’t be possible for my husband to leave his job. However, the possibility of the children changing schools was definitely on the table. Our children were only a few months into the school year, so we had the luxury of having ample time to pray.
This was a huge decision, especially since our children’s current school was all they had ever known. This was compounded by the fact that we weren’t necessarily unhappy with the school itself but had witnessed how stressed out students (and their families) became as they progressed into the higher grade levels. We wanted to avoid that kind of pressure but knew that would mean a radical change in the way we approached school all together.
Day after day, I would pray for God’s will to be revealed, and day after day, I felt led to make the move to the new school. However, doubt would begin to creep in, and I would once again pray and ask God for further revelation. Usually in less than a week, I had a clear prompting that we were in fact supposed to make the move.
This cycle of asking for confirmation, then receiving it, then doubting again went on endlessly for several months. I worried that one day God’s patience with me would run out, but He lovingly kept guiding me to His chosen path.
Finally one day, I heard that voice again. This time it was asking…
What’s this indecision really about?
I pondered the question for a while, and then the answers began pouring out…
The new school is completely different than most other schools. Its model is definitely not the norm, and the curriculum isn’t what we have become accustomed to. We really don’t know anything about what the teachers and other families are like.
God, what if making such a radical change affects our children’s futures in a negative way?
Then came the reply that changed everything, including the very way I look at parenting today…
My child, if I have called them to this school, which I have, then they will be prepared to accomplish whatever it is that I have planned for them.
That response opened my eyes to the fact that I was tightly holding on to my hopes and dreams for my children…so tight that there was no room left for God to work and to move. I had to face the fact that as much as I loved my children, I couldn’t love them more than their Heavenly Father could. I also had to admit that my plans were no competition for the things He could accomplish in their lives.
I had to acknowledge that if my children were going to thrive, I was going to have to release them and their futures to God.
My children are now in their second year at the new school, and I have to say that God did not let us down. As always, He far exceeded our expectations. Our children are flourishing, and the new schedule has been really helpful as we try to maintain balance for our family time. We also have the pleasure of parenting alongside moms and dads that are the epitome of what parenting with open arms is all about. In fact, one such family is preparing to release their child to enter the foreign mission field very shortly. I don’t know about you, but to me, that is the ultimate example of trusting God’s plan for your child.
Relinquishing our wants and desires to God is never an easy task, especially when it involves those we love. However, opening our arms in order to let go of our hopes and dreams so we can embrace God’s greater plan becomes easier once we realize the amazing love He has for all of us.
The Apostle Paul expresses this best in his prayer for the Ephesians:
For this reason I kneel before the father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we all ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. — Ephesians 3:14–21
This passage is such a great reminder of the fact that God loves us more than we could ever fathom and that He can accomplish way more than we could ever imagine. What more could we possibly want for our children?
Will you trust Him and parent with open arms?
This is the second installment of my Open Hands, Open Arms, Open Heart series. You may also enjoy reading my first article in this series, Praying with Open Hands. For more helpful information relating to faith and family, be sure to visit my Dawn Benson Jones website.
