The Body Doesn’t Just Keep the Score: It Keeps a Calendar

If you feel off some days, this may be why

Photo by Tide_trasher_x on Unsplash

It happens every year. Right around Valentine’s Day, I start to get this heavy sense of sadness. I’m single, yes, but I’m happily single. I love my life. I don’t have any hate for the holiday centered around romantic relationships. Still, it seems like my nervous system is a mess every year around the same time.

It shouldn’t have taken me so long to realize why. That particular holiday weekend means a lot to me. It was around the time I met my ex, and it’s also the same timeframe when I last saw him before our breakup. Those are pivotal times in a relationship arc that started with elation and ended in heartache. I might have let the significance of those days slip, but my body’s not just keeping the score. It’s also keeping a calendar.

A friend of mine is having the same experience. She’s been sad and angry, and there’s not an immediate life circumstance giving her an explanation for this swift mood change. We talked it out, and she can pinpoint significant and painful events that coincide with this time of year. She may have momentarily forgotten, but her body’s calendar is serving up regular reminders that there’s still healing left to be done.

Psychologists refer to this as “the…