The Value of Building Self-Trust to Recognize (and Avoid) Red Flags
They were always there; you just didn’t want to believe them
It’s easy to say that there were no red flags in the beginning — but is that ever really true? The warning signs are always there. Maybe they aren’t waving around in full display for everyone to see, but there are plenty of subtle but unmistakable clues. We just don’t trust ourselves enough to believe what we’re seeing.
What we usually do instead is concoct any number of stories to explain them away. As women, in particular, we’re taught to extend the benefit of the doubt, to give second chances, and to assume that the people around us have good intentions. What we’re rarely taught, if ever, is to trust ourselves.
To some degree, the entertainment we view reinforces this idea. We fall in love with the toxic relationships romanticized on screen, and there just aren’t that many examples of healthy connection and communication out there to cultivate a better, healthier idea of love. We normalize the drama and the trauma, and we tell ourselves that love is supposed to feel like a rollercoaster or a game of tug-of-war.
But underneath all of our explanations and storytelling, we always know the truth. It’s there. It might be quiet for a time, but the knowledge…
