2 Powerful Truths You Need to Know About Your Past
It happened again. John thought he did his best to avoid it, but there he was — laying there empty in his soul next to a woman he barely knew after the fillings of a one night stand. He stared at the ceiling and then looked at her. Gazed once again at the ceiling in complete disarray and whispers to himself, “This has got to end.”
For the life of him, he couldn’t figure it out. He kept pouring his life and energy into what seemed to be all the right things, but then Friday and Saturday night would always come. Same story, the same type of woman, same scenario over and over again. He wanted everything to change — for it all to go away, but he couldn’t quite figure out how.
This guy isn’t unlike men who make up our generation. Perhaps this is your story. In all likelihood, each of us has these tendencies glaring in our lives. In this case, this guy loves sex, and he uses women to get whatever he wants when he wants.
To say this is a problem is an understatement. To use someone should bring about the entire amount of shame. Wrapped in his shame, John realizes he is down a path he doesn’t want to be down. But there’s something more there.
Where there are one night stands, there are wounds from a longing and desire to be loved. It’s true of both the man and the woman. But our culture won’t tell you that. If anything, they’ll just call him a sex fanatic and tell him to get his fix however he pleases.
There’s something more to this guy staring at the ceiling in a deep agony of what has just happened once again. There is something hidden deep inside his past which keeps bubbling to the surface.
Our culture lies to us about our past.
It lies to us to remind us we are one person and not another. It tells us to keep the past in the past, and our eyes fixed on whatever eye candy it has for us next.
These lies form themselves around two significant lies we have preached and believed for years about our past and wounds.
Lie #1: Your past is in the past
The world would have for you to believe that your past is only found in the past and not anywhere else. That it is stuck there, never to be re-visited or seen ever again. They would tell you that because it is in the past that there is no need to address it now — what’s gone is gone — get over it, and move on.
Truth: Your past is directing your present and can predict your future
Here is Our Reality: Your past is steering the ship of your life. Through the ups and downs of every quiet day and storm you face. If kept in the past, away from healing you need long enough, your past can and will direct your future.
While we would like to believe the past is never to come up again, this isn’t true. It will affect you in the deepest of ways unless you and I learn how to deal with them.
Lie #2: Time Heals All Wounds
Time isn’t good for much these days when it comes to the personal harm you and I inflict on one another. Often, all time does is continue to infect and inflict more damage on us than ever was first intended.
Truth: Wounds do not heal unless you tend to them.
Wounds are not bound to time. Sure, we can continue to suppress them through time in hopes to gain the healing we need, but we will never achieve full healing.
For you and I to get the healing from our past inflictions that we need, we must learn to tend to our wounds. We must go to our past and do the work necessary to get the healing we need from the past hurts we carry.
Your past is affecting the life you want to live right now.
It’s that simple. Just like our one-night stand man, unless you begin to work through your past you will never be able to thrive in your current days and plan the future you want. You will continue to run the cycle of the behaviors you have done over the years and receive the same results you always have.
So, what must you and I do moving forward? We must turn around and go back. We have to go back and do the work so we can move forward in every possible way in our lives.
You and I must learn to live and act on the truths that combat the culture of lies we live in every day.
Your Past is directing your present and can predict your future
Take some time and do some self-reflection this week. Think about the last few weeks, month and even years. What are some of the consistent unhealthy behaviors that keep coming up in your life? They are there for a reason. But those responses are triggered by something else that has occurred in your life that you are covering up. Fear not — we are all guilty of it. Be the bigger and better man by addressing it. When you start to get some headway, find a trusted friend, family member or even counselor to get the help you need moving forward.
Wounds do not heal unless you tend to them.
Guys, we are a broken and trauma-filled generation. For too long, we have kept our eyes blind and our hearts deaf to the wounds that run deep in our hearts. We can no longer avoid them. We have to address them head-on.
Listen, I know the life you want. I see it because I am just like you. I desire the same future. One of the lessons I am learning about myself is that unless I learn to address my stuff, I cannot get the healing I want and need. No one else can do this for me — no one else can do it for you.
Go back. Discover where you were hurt and do the hard work to get the healing you need.
Your Call To Action:
Healing from your past begins with establishing healthy relationships in your life. Grab my free guide and begin establishing those strong relationships TODAY. Click here to grab the free guide.
