What If We Listened?
I went grocery shopping the other day. My wife normally does it, but I thought I would be a good husband and take the burden away from her this time.
Now, just for the sake of clarity, my wife doesn’t do the shopping because that’s her responsibility, but because she can’t trust me to do the shopping correctly.
I am horrible at listening when it comes to grocery shopping. I don’t know why. I can listen to her stories and experiences throughout the day or even focus on things she needs me to accomplish around the house. Yet, when it comes to shopping, I think I get a bit prideful.
I think, “Oh, I have a list, but seriously, how hard is it going to be to get cheese, or avocados? I got this.”
Inevitably, I arrive at the store and text my wife to figure out how many avocados she wanted or what type of cheese I was supposed to get. Her reply is often the same, “Uhm…Do you not remember me telling you 5 avocados and Mexican style cheese for the guacamole and tacos later? lol”. The “lol” at the end of the text is her gentle way of saying, “Why didn’t you listen?”
This may seem so trivial or basic, but the reality is, we all have our moments of not listening. We all fail to listen fully to details. Maybe it’s on purpose, but most often it’s because we are too busy jumping to the next idea.
When people come to us with important details of their day, painful stories from their childhood, sorrow over a broken relationship, etc. We need to listen. They need us to listen. They need us to be fully involved.
In the grand scheme of things, listening to details on a grocery list is not that big of a deal. However, if I can’t take time to listen to something as small as a grocery list, then I could easily be susceptible to not focusing on an important conversation.
I would hate to have someone who shared with me their deepest pain wonder why I didn’t listen.
I have been working on developing stronger listening skills. I make full eye contact. I try to repeat what I hear. I turn my cell phone face down. I put my phone on vibrate. I try my best to eliminate any distraction that would hinder my ability to listen fully.
Another practice I have implemented is writing down the conversation. I don’t do it while the person is talking, but if time allows after the time we had together, I will go to my car and write down important details that would be valuable for future conversations.
Listening is an important practice and discipline. It will open us up to deeper relationships and challenge us to be more intentional in focusing on what is being said.
With all the distractions in this world, listening is hard but necessary. Let’s work harder to honor the people seeking someone who will value them enough to truly listen.
