What made my husband mutter, “Yes, dear” all the time?
A deep look into me. What made me such a control freak?
I didn’t realize I had become a control freak. After troubles with a babysitter when our children were young, I assumed control. I wanted to know exactly where each child was going, whom they were with, and what time they’d be home. These were good questions but I acted like a drill sergeant and made normal discussions into battles.
My fear for my kids made me want to micro manage every single aspect of their lives.
Years later I found a great new church, a mentor, a Bible study and eventually I found Jesus.
It was during this time that I realized that I had a hidden fault. Hidden to me — not to God and maybe not to others.
I could now see that I had frustrated my husband and my kids with this control issue.
My hubby had started to say, “Yes, dear” to everything. The kids argued with anything and everything I said.
Enter Jesus. I started to read His Word.
He showed me that God was in control — not me.
Listen to Psalm 19:12
Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
I didn’t know that I had been sinning.
When the truth became evident to me I asked God for forgiveness for my lack of trust in Him. Then things started to change slowly– but for the better.
I started to be aware of this control tendency. But, I had to find out why I did it and how I could change.
It wasn’t easy.
But I’m happy to report that very rarely now does my hubby say, “Yes, dear.” Since we are both first born we have had to learn to listen better to each other and both of us bend a little.
My youngest daughter’s friend said to her, “What happened to your mom? She is nicer.”
I knew that my wanting to control would be an issue for the rest of my life . But it is something that God wants me to work on.
I can still be bold as a lion. But not in control. I can be spirited but not pushy.
This is my lion now. I want to be and act like the Lion of Judah — my Jesus.
Then I read:
1 Corinthians 4:4
My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.
God forgave me my lack of knowledge that this had been a problem.
But what other hidden faults did I have buried deep? What were those hidden sins that I kept hidden -thinking I was infallible.
I must keep studying and listening to God to get to the deepest parts of me.
Thank the Lord the blood of Jesus covers me and by His grace I am forgiven even for my hidden sins.
But I believe God still wants me to uncover them.
The sin of control is only one of many that God has revealed to me over the years.
And just like addictions I am never completely cured. I have to keep on being aware and asking for God’s help.
May I pray for you and me?
Father, thank You for allowing Jesus to die for our sins. Thank You for Your grace and mercy. Help us to uncover anything that does not glorify You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Until next time, ask God to reveal the true nature of your heart. Is there something lurking there that you need to see and work on? Read the Bible and learn more about God and yourself.
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