When To Stop Waiting
Let me tell you something you already know
Some things we find in silence. Others, drowning in the noise of our thoughts. There are stories of people who connect with their core after time in the woods, away from civilization and all the things we’ve made to avoid facing inside. There are stories of people, faced with impending death or having lost people who were tied to their identity, they find that same core — that new drive to take the leap.
Often, we see them in interviews or hear talks of how one moment in time changed everything.
How true is this for the rest of us who can’t? Do we all need to be in the face of danger to find this drive? Is this drive all new?
Or is this something we can tap into whenever we want?
In February, I decided that I was too busy to see above the clouds and made a grand announcement of my experiment to leave the internet in search of clarity.
Going Offline Till March 2019
Can 30 days off the internet improve my ability to set and achieve long and short term goals?
I didn’t find it.
If anything, I was faced with how important the internet was in my life, and my future and the patterns it had created in my life without my knowledge.
One can argue — and I do — that I must have gleaned something. I may not be aware yet to put that in simple terms, but there is no way one can leave the internet and not ‘gain’ something.
Actually, sometimes, while looking for something, we miss something else.
Sometimes, we miss everything.
I now know, for example, that the internet had little do with my feelings of exhaustion — my use of the internet did.
My feed had nothing to do with my feelings of comparison — my choice of people to follow and compare myself with did.
The quality of my content had little to do with how much I consumed — my lack of sustainable creative habits did.
I didn’t make money, because it wasn’t a priority.
I simply didn’t have a plan. And leaving the internet wasn’t going to fix that.
We go to the woods in search of answers. But to what questions?
And do we need the woods to seek those answers? Do we need deafening silence or family to die to schedule time to ask ourselves questions such as :
Why am I doing what I’m doing?
How do I measure my progress?
What do I want to leave when I die?
I’m sure there’s an extensive infographic somewhere on Pinterest on how to map your vision or personal legend or some other more important name for our raison d’être, but I’m quite convinced that like me, most people wait for signs when they could be drawing on a canvas they chose.
I could literally set up my Patreon page and pitch you my idea and you’d support me if that’s something that you felt mattered to you.
I could start the podcast I’d been postponing and batch enough episodes to keep you listening.
I could make videos on my YouTube….so…you get the idea.
I hope to go to the woods one day. Really. I’d love the experience.
But I’m more worried about going there like a tree because I waited too long to start on my own.
Don’t be me.
I’ve realized that we are really our own judge, victim, jury, and executioner.
All the world, the internet, and others, only help us think we can blame others for our actions.
But we know the truth.
You know the truth.