Why Do Women Have Such Weird Taste In Men?

A Lighthearted Take From A Guys Perspective

Sean Kernan
Nov 6, 2019 · 4 min read
Unsplash Ilya Pavlov

I am a man.

I am a man who has spent the majority of his adult life dating or being in relationships with women.

In my 36-year tenure on this Earth, I’ve had the full spectrum of the dating experiences, spanning one-night stands to long term relationships to marriage and, later, divorce.

This has necessitated a continuing knowledge quest of the opposite sex, a Darwinian need to understand them at every level for my own survival.

Welcome to the Island, kid.

I’ve wrapped my head around most areas and compressed some simple conclusions: most of them revolving around the fact that we typically have a lot more in common than we realize.

But one avenue that has eluded me, like a unicorn in the fog, is how they decide on a man. How they “choose”.

Here is what I do know:

One: most women are picky. Very, very, very, picky. And that pickiness can be good, bad, tragic, opportune, or even humorous at times.

Two: their taste and decisions are often unpredictable. You can’t apply normal math here.

We Try Not To Judge But…

Think about it. We’ve all seen this play unfold at some point in our life.

You have a beautiful friend, Jennifer. She’s smart, kind, capable — a great catch by all measures. She is deserving.

She finally brings her boyfriend over to a cookout. She’s been talking him up to everyone for a while now. Everyone is excited to meet him.

She says, “Ta daaaa!” like a magician unveiling a hidden rabbit that all the kids were excited to see. Everyone meets him.

And the guy is kiiiiind of a total loser.

He’s rude and meanspirited. He’s terrible at conversation. He looks like Jabba the Hutt (A giant, snail-like creature with terrible manners).

It puts you in this weird situation. You don’t want to judge, but you can’t help but think, “What….does she see in this guy!?!?!?”

To be fair — I’m no model. And I’ve been that guy who wanted to date that Jennifer. I’ve sat there wondering how I got rejected in lieu of Jabba.

Maybe I’m just jelly.

I Suck At Flipping Coins

Many of you have also seen the flip side of that equation play out in front of you.

Beautiful Jennifer has a handsome, generous, driven boyfriend who makes good money, who treats her great. He is spontaneous. He is a great lover. He plans nice, romantic dates.

Everyone likes him. He plays nice in the sandbox. He has all the right boxes checked.

Then — at the next to get together, months later, he isn’t there.

You say, “Hey what happened to Mr. Perfect?”

She says, “Oh — we broke up. I wanted to find a massive loser who would treat me like crap for a few years.”

OK — she doesn’t really say that. But she may as well have because that is what became operationalized. Fast forward: with all of Jennifer’s girlfriends slowly coaxing and later begging her to break up with him.

And maybe that’s why some women are so picky? Maybe it takes getting burned a few times by a bad one to realize what a good one looks like. It happened to me.

But still…

…I….I ….mamma I’m so confused <beads of sweat from thinking too hard>.

And then my search history got interesting.

I’ll give you an example.

The other day, I was working on a post on my other platform. I was writing about human intimacy and comparing it to that of a Sea Slug who has a detachable regrowable penis which he then uses to “swordfight” with the competition. I kid you not.

I needed a photo to supplement my Sea Slug post. Specifically, I needed a picture of a hot guy.

And so I googled, “hot guy”, then “shirtless attractive man” and began working through various search terms.

As I was exploring Google, trying to find example eye candy for the ladies, I came to an epiphany— I have no idea what type of man these women want. I certainly know what the masses don’t like, that part was obvious as every pic I considered generated mental images of women in front of their screens nodding “no…just no…he is icky.”.

Sure, there are a handful of universal Brad Pittesque dudes. Outside of that? It’s a free for all. Good luck amigo.

(I ended up subbing in a picture of a cute panda and calling it a day.)

Time For A Thought Experiment

Put an attractive woman in front of a group of men.

Ask each man to rate her on a scale of one to ten. I’ll bet my shirt the answers are pretty close:








Now, put an attractive man in front of a group of women. Good luck guessing the results:










So what gives? Why is this such an unpredictable science? My pet theory is that each woman has either -

A) a unique and highly complex equation in her head that determines if a man is attractive.


B) She just has a built-in random number generator that spins when she sees a new guy.

Which, if you are a dude under an objective 5/10, is probably a good thing. Thy calc hath blessed thee.

I’m not typically a fan of highlighting and compounding sex differences but (I think) this is one area where men and women differ vastly. If I had to guess, I’d guess the real answer lies in attraction being a more multivariate equation for women, with lots of things being weighed.

But who knows.

Women — someday I will figure you out. But until that day comes, I am at your mercy.


Discover tomorrow’s bestsellers today. You'll say you knew them when.

Sean Kernan

Written by

*New to Medium* Columnist for Publishous. Quora Top Writer 2018. Quora People’s Choice Award 2017. — People say I’m nice. And my mom thinks I’m cool. —


Discover tomorrow’s bestsellers today. You'll say you knew them when.

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