Why Having Standards Makes You Undatable

Nobody wants a person who is constantly comparing their dates to their imaginary ideal man.

Photo by Nina Hill on Unsplash

“You’re too picky.”

That’s what I told my friend Sarah after she turned down a date with a guy because he looked too much like a “finance guy” on his Instagram posts, and she doesn’t want to end up with someone who is constantly obsessing over money.

“But he is a decent guy,” I insisted. “Maybe you should give him a chance and see if he is actually nice in person.”

But she never did. Just as she hasn’t done so with the last five guys I’ve tried to introduce her to (after she asked me to). Sarah is 35 years old, still living with her parents, and desperate to find a husband. Her dream has always been to start a family, but she’s never had any luck in love, despite always looking for it.

For her, dating men is a nightmare. They never behave the way she wants them to, none of them ever meet her “checklist” of requirements for a perfect husband, and she’s always raising red flags from their personalities to point out why they can’t be ideal.

She’s reached a point where she’s decided the perfect man will naturally and spontaneously come knocking at her door, so she’s decided to stop looking. But I think…