A Ted Talk, an end goal for social anxiety
Colorado Springs writer Andrew Elsass couldn’t imagine speaking to an audience until he was offered the chance to speak about overcoming his experience with the disorder.
Up until his early 20s, he would obsess over his social anxiety — which he knew was hindering him both personally and professionally. Recently, though, at 28 years old, he stood up and gave a TEDx Talk on the subject of social anxiety and social skills in front of hundreds of people at Stargazers Theatre in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
What changed?
In short, an idea and an opportunity.
“In June 2013 in Colorado Springs, I did a social experiment I made up called ‘90 Strangers In 30 Days,’ where I forced myself to go out and start conversations with at least three people I didn’t know [every day],” he explained during his TEDx Talk.
“I then recorded all of the data — the person’s demographic, where and how I started the conversation, what we talked about — in a spreadsheet.”
Elsass talked to people at the grocery store, the gym, the mall, networking events — anywhere and everywhere.
While doing this experiment, he began to discover that social skills were something that could be learned. Striking up a conversation in the checkout line doesn’t have to come natural. The challenge, in fact, was a testament to reaching out of one’s comfort zone, even if a born introvert or facing social anxiety, as Elsass was.
After doing the initial challenge, Elsass put an article about his ‘90 Strangers in 30 Days’ challenge up on Reddit, and he received more than 1,200 upvotes and 100 comments in 24 hours.
“Almost three years later, I still receive emails and messages from people telling me how important ’90 Strangers’ was to them,” Elsass said during his talk. “Some going as far to say as it changed their life, others asking for my advice to get over their own social insecurities.”
An estimated 15 million Americans are affected by social anxiety, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Elsass’ goal is to now educate and coach others on how to attain those elusive social skills that so many seem to lack.
“Social skills are just that — a skill set — and I hope these ideas can communicate to parents, teachers and kids themselves that you or your child didn’t get dealt a bad hand, and this is something that can be changed. And it doesn’t need to be complicated,” he emphasized during his speech.
Preparing for the talk required an application and some practice.
“A lot of people my age are a big fan of TED Talks,” Elsass, who owns Elsass Editing based out of Colorado Springs, told PULP.
“So I always thought it’d be cool to do a TED Talk someday.”
Elsass made a bucket list years earlier when he was 23, and he put that he wanted to do a TED Talk on it, but he thought little of it at the time.
Fast forward to March 2016. Elsass saw that TEDx Mile High was asking for applications. The “x” means it’s locally organized and has to meet certain requirements in order to gain the TEDx license.
Elsass auditioned, but didn’t quite make the cut. However, about a month or two after that, TEDx Dayton and TEDx Colorado Springs were both accepting applications, too. So he applied again.
“Every single TED event is run very differently,” explained Elsass. “So I had to prepare the same speech 3 different times in 3 different ways.”
The Colorado Springs event invited Andrew to audition, and this time Elsass made the cut. He was one of nine speakers chosen to give a speech on November 5.
In early July, Elsass was assigned a speech coach who helped him refine and prepare his speech. They’d meet regularly to practice Elsass’ speech in libraries or coworking spaces.
“It made the final product a lot, lot better, I think,” Elsass said. “The critique was awesome, but it also just kept me accountable.”
The day of the event, Elsass noted it was interesting to see the array of different preparation styles for individual speakers: Some people wanted others around, some people wanted to be alone. For him, it was relatively straightforward. “You do this thing so many times; I probably rehearsed it over 100 times,” he said. “And then you go out, and it’s the time. It’s almost out of body because it’s automatic at that point.”
Elsass is currently working with a business coach to leverage all of his knowledge on social skills. He’s also written an eBook that he’s editing. He wants to develop a course with video, and he’d also love to speak to schools and organizations — to anyone who might be interested in the topic.
“It’s my life’s work, my legacy project,” he said.
