How We’ve Normalized Sexual Coercion And How To Flip The Script
How do I talk about all of the moments that weren’t healthy, but were also clearly not rape? How do I talk about what seems so normal?
M y first instance of penetrative sex was coercive. I was 19, he was 25; we had been with each other for barely a month and up until that point, he had been a sweetheart. Within days of our first date, I’d ended up in the hospital with a mystery virus and he’d visited me there, brought me flowers and books, walked me up and down the hallway, my IV pole trailing behind us. After my discharge from the hospital, he stuck with me. He was attentive, careful of my weakened state. Tender. When we fooled around, he was mindful of my inexperience. He seemed to relish teaching me the many ways we could experience pleasure together.
But then there was that night. The way he didn’t listen when I said, “I’m not sure.”
The way he pressed forward when I squeezed my thighs together. The way I kept quiet as it was happening because if he’d ignored my signals before, what more was there to say?
