The Magic Of The Lizard Self

On the bodily experience of crisis and the importance of cognitive dissonance.

July Westhale
Feb 11 · 8 min read
// lizard by Dylan Baugh

That’s the important bit: the psychic contrails, the specters left behind in this rapid, unlikely movement.

As I’ve gotten older, navigating crisis hasn’t always come with the intense, physical need to respond, but that dissonance is still there. It’s just a little quieter, a little more considered.

The terrible thing about beauty is that we become accustomed to it.

I always think of that scene in All About Eve, when the woman whose husband is cheating on her says that heartbreaking thing I’m about to bastardize — something about how all of the things her husband once loved about her are still radiant…

There is, I suspect, a deep part of me that still does not believe I deserve beautiful, affordable, safe housing — that it is a dream too swollen for my small life.

And while I rationally understand exactly where this thought is coming from, I also, as a person now in my thirties, with a savings account and a robust community and access to resources, know that I am privileged and allowed to do what I can to care for myself and my family.

PULPMAG

PULP is a multimedia sex, sexuality, and reproductive rights publication celebrating this human coil hurtling through time and space.

July Westhale

Written by

co-founding executive editor of medium.com/PULPMAG. Writer, translator, professor, media roustabout. Gender queer (she/they).

PULPMAG

PULPMAG

PULP is a multimedia sex, sexuality, and reproductive rights publication celebrating this human coil hurtling through time and space.

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