Season 4 | Episode 10 | “No Strings Attached” | Aired Jan 4, 2016

Robin H.
Pumptini
Published in
3 min readJul 8, 2018

It’s time for the Vanderpump Rules mid-season power rankings. We’ll start from the bottom:

Brittany
Not only was she referred to as “Kentucky Fried Chicken” by James, but she moved across the country, driving by herself, to move in with Jax. It’s heartbreaking that she is over the moon about it, because we know how it ends — either in tears, blood, or spray-tan liquid.

Ariana
There’s nothing like taking your boyfriend to a tattoo-removal specialist because he tattooed a flaming letter A on his backside, and it will now take a year of treatments to remove. “Why are you bending over? It’s on the top of your a–,” did prove to be the best line of the night.

James
Not only is James losing the race to win Lala’s affections, but he wasn’t invited to the super-special big kids’ party in Waikiki! And he finds out because he sees that the squad is all going to be out for the week, and no one asked him. The one highlight for him is that Lala “touched his pee-pee.”

Kristen
Despite her role as the devil incarnate last season, Jax and Scheana and Katie are all making the case for her to be invited to the Tom and Jax attention party. And she’s never looked better.

Jax
I don’t know what it is about Jax that he is always forgiven for everything he does, hands-down. Not only is Tom Sandoval his BFF again (after he slept with his then-girlfriend), but he is now Kristen’s new BFF and wing man. And not only does he have Lala suggesting they consummate at all times (even at a bar with her friends), but he has poor Brittany moving in with him. Oh, mark my words, we’re all due for the fall of Jax, but at this moment, he is having all his SUR Chilean sea bass and eating it too.

Faith
All we know about Faith so far is that she is a new SURver, purposely dyes her hair gray, and is sort of dating Lisa Vanderpump’s son. However, people can’t shut up about her, so there’s something she’s doing right.

Lala
Not only can she can keep from flashing people when she wears an off-the-shoulder shirt with no bra, but she has both James and Jax right where she wants them. Although according to Kristen, she has “filed her application to become skank of the year.” Lala knows that it’s an honor just to be nominated.

Tom Sandoval
What can bring more happiness than seeing the love of your life get engaged? He knew Tom Schwartz when he was just a wee baby and answered Tom (Sandoval’s) Craigslist ad for a roommate. When Tom Schwartz arrived in his overalls and hypercolor shirt, Tom (Sandoval) immediately knew his purpose was to style Tom (Schwartz) for a night out. Come several years later, Tom Sandoval styles Tom (Schwartz) for the big proposal surprise.

Scheana
Somehow, Scheana has risen to be the alpha of this group. I am impressed by her benevolent dictatorship.

Katie
You’d think that getting engaged would put her on top? And especially to the most adorable man in the world? The joke is on her: She’ll have to have her wedding on the show. And make the main cast her bridesmaids.

Tom Schwartz
Despite nearly having a nervous breakdown before asking Katie to marry him, he did have a pretty dope plan to surprise her. Even if it included at first making her feel bad that someone else in the restaurant was the one getting engaged. Also, his “just woke up” hair is pretty fantastic. Bonus: He got some sweet Instagram photos out of it.

Lisa Vanderpump
Let’s be honest: She’ll always be on top. She has two hit shows on Bravo, three restaurants, four swans, and the ability to sell glasses of sangria by the millions.

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