Season 4 | Episode 18 | “Too Little, Too Late” | Aired Feb 29, 2016
I just realized that Vanderpump Rules is a science-fiction show. These people are actually stuck under an impenetrable dome surrounding West Hollywood. If they don’t fight their way back into the central friend circle, they will literally die. It’s like The Hunger Games with overpriced cocktails.
That would have to explain why Kristen, Scheana, Jax, and Stassi feel like it’s life-and-death if they are not in this central SUR clique. It’s one thing to miss a friend and make amends, but the way that Kristen and Stassi fought their way back gives me pause. And how Scheana acts like it’s a zero-sum game: When Ariana “left” her, she replaced her with Katie. If Katie leaves for Stassi, she’s alone forever. (Hey, remember your husband?)
I hate seeing Kristen getting what she wants, but for some reason I’m rooting for Stassi. Maybe because she actually seems like one of the smarter ones! I actually see her and Ariana being really great friends.
I’m not talking much plot at the moment because there wasn’t much of one, besides Katie and Tom Schwartz getting into a huge fight because Schwartz was trying to explain Ariana’s point of view at last week’s “I take comedy seriously” rant at the beach. Katie felt Tom didn’t have her back, so she texted him things like, “I should never have agreed to marry you” and, “Take back the ring” and, “I’m going to kidnap your mother and rip off her fingernails.” You know, typical wedding jitters!
The Palm Springs weekend with notable comediennes Rachael, Kristen, and Stassi gets real when Katie and Scheana make a surprise visit. Stassi bursts into tears when she sees Katie, and I believe that they were real tears. Either Stassi is really missing Katie and wants to make amends, or her contract says she can’t be on the show unless she becomes friends with these people again.
In other news, Lisa Vanderpump does not believe in direct deposit, because the SURvers apparently have to come in to get their paychecks. James is rude to his mother, who warns him about Kristen, and announces his plan to 1) quit alcohol, 2) get fit, and 3) get a six-pack.
Tom Schwartz, Jax, and Peter do some Baby-Sitters Club LARPing when they watch Peter’s girlfriend’s four-year-old, Liam, and do the opposite of what Sara asks them to do. Who do you think was Kristy? Jax is definitely Kristy Thomas (the bossy one), and Tom Schwartz is Stacey McGill (the cool, diabetic one). Peter is Mallory Pike, because they both aren’t crucial to the story.
Speaking of Jax, he has not been looking so well. And I say that out of concern. Perhaps it has something to do with him appearing in court in Hawaii over the Sunglass Incident? Maybe worried that Stassi is back in the group and she will oust him? Remember when he and Stassi were dating? That seems crazy.
But not crazier than Katie’s top knot and choker scarf, to be honest. This is the look of someone trying to hide hickies. It’s okay, Katie: You are engaged to Tom, aren’t you?
