I gotta say, I’m not a big fan of pandemics.

There’s no precedent for 21st Century people being collectively cut off from the outside world for a long time outside of war/genocide. It’s affected people across class, race, gender, and ability. If I didn’t have to go to work, I would not be showering/changing my clothes. It forces me to maintain a routine, which is a good thing, and it IS. NOT. EASY.

The eternal COVID-response of mainly being at home or at work mirrors what a lot of people do in a bout of depression. We are touch-starved, bored, and perpetually exhausted. When falling asleep, assuming a typical sleep cycle, you have to mimic being asleep-eventually your brain will give in to the cues from your body, and you will fall asleep. I don’t see how reenacting being a depressed person wouldn’t result in experiencing mental health complications. For persons who have processed depression pre-pandemic, it may seem familiar, but many people haven’t done that work-and don’t have the tools, experience, or community resources which would make handling pandemic-related complications a little easier.

Over the course of my life, and especially throughout the pandemic, I’ve tried and failed to implement new routines, such as an exercise schedule, a journaling practice, yoga. I’ll do it for a few days, forget, and not try again for a while. It’s been more difficult for me, and I know these are good things which would make me feel better, but I feel like I have no time, and also nothing but time.

I miss a lot of things about pre-pandemic life, such as jiu jitsu classes, impulsively hanging out with friends, going to the rollerskating rink. These are all social things, and while I’ve recently phased in more face-to-face interaction and events, it’s not the same, because hugs can still kill your whole family.

This is all a roundabout way of saying: ‘0/o’please be easy on yourself. I need to hear this as much as anyone does. Take care of yourself to the best of your ability. Shit is weird, and trying to live as if things are normal is confusing and frustrating, but we’ll probably survive. There is still beauty, comfort, wonder, and love to be experienced, and we’ll appreciate it so much more after nearly 2 years of isolation and deprivation.