(Originally published on Punkpost.com)
A well-written, personal card is obvi the best way to send birthday wishes. And while there is a time and place for elegance and class, there’s also nothing wrong with a little humor, wit and cheekiness. Jazzing up a birthday greeting with a joke or pun can take your card to the next level, crack a smile and make it that much more memorable. If you’re feeling devoid of creativity, we’re here to help with tips on crafting a funny birthday card that will keep your friends and loved ones LOLing for days.
1. Get Philosophical on Their Old Age
Another day older is another day you are eating more cake. Take birthdays and turn them into a clever statement on getting older. It keeps birthdays light and fun.
“If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!”
“It’s better to be on the hill than under it.”
2. Just Be Punny
Everyone loves puns. Throw a cheesy pun in there for good measure, and your card is promised to be a hit. Whether it’s a silly joke about food or a hilarious pun about pets, you’ll go a long way with a funny little statement.
“Go, Shawty! It’s Sherbert Day!”
“Have a whaley great birthday!”
“Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Bacon? Bacon, who? Bacon a cake for your birthday.
“What goes up and never goes down? Your age.”
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Cheeky About Age
It’s just a number after all, right? Feel free to poke a little fun at someone’s age, or use your own in the joke. Pointing out that you will always be either older OR younger than the recipient is sure to get them smiling.
“I can smell the BENGAY from here.”
“You’re finally at the age where the fire marshal will not allow us to put real candles on your cake!”
“One good thing is no worrying about looking silly because your old lunch can’t muster up enough air to bow them out!”
4. Include Inside Jokes
There’s nothing better — or more sincere — than a good ol’ inside joke. They say a great deal about your relationship with the person. They show how you’ve been through thick and thin together, and come out of everything with silly jokes to spare. Add in something personal only the two of you share, only the two of you giggle over. It’s that special touch that will truly hit home.
“Your birthday is a fantastic day because it’s the day my friend arrive on the planet; the day boredom died.”
“We’ve grown up so much since 9th grade Spanish. Who let us be adults?!”
5. Joke About Presents — or the Lack Thereof
They say the gift of friendship and love is the best one a person can receive. So that is what I got you for your birthday! Turn something like everlasting love or friendship into a gift that you are bestowing upon them, instead of something like diamonds or flowers. It’ll give your loved one a giggle.
“It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.”
“Forget the past, you can’t change it. And forget the present, because I didn’t get you one.”
“I wish we could celebrate together but instead you get this rad card. It’s pretty much the same thing.”
“Remember to start taking a multi-vitamin and fiber supplement, you old man!”
6. Keep It Simple
Sometimes, it’s challenging to think up something witty. Short and sweet, and the first thing that comes to your mind is sometimes the most clever option.
“May you live to be old and toothless. Jell-O is the caviar of the future!”
“Have a pants-ripping, voice-losing good birthday.”
7. Make It A Little Bit About You
Yes, we care about our loved ones. We wouldn’t be sending a card otherwise! But to keep things lighthearted and fun, turn their birthday into YOUR reason to celebrate. Your birthday means we can go out, get great food and party all night long. So thanks for being born!
“Holy crap, how’d we get so old? Here’s to drinking like we used to (except, sweet baby Jesus, without the hangovers we get now)!”
“No matter how old you get… I’ll still be younger.”
8. Start a Welcoming Committee
If you’re a little older than your pal, let them know what’s in store for them in their new old age or decade.
“Welcome to the definitely-in-you-late-20s club! It’s great we all have 401ks and know what we want out of life! SIKE! I still don’t know shit and won’t ever know shit!”
“Welcome to your 30s, where friends start having babies, body parts hurt for no reason, hangovers last for two days, and being asleep by 9 is a regular routine, even on weekends. Aging is great!”
9. Add Silly Drawings or Doodles
Yes, the message inside is most important. Sometimes, however, a little doodle of something funny will drive the point home and give your loved one a serious chuckle. With Punkpost, you can request doodles or drawings or things that will illustrate your point for your instead of having to spell it all out.
“You may be too old to rock to The Stones, but at least you still remember who they are.”
“May your balls stay forever supple.”
10. Poke Fun at the Era
The laughs don’t necessarily have to be at the expense of the birthday gal or guy. Instead, use it as an opportunity to poke fun at the era they are in.
“Eat some cheese, pet your cats and enjoy your final year of your 20s because it’s all creaky joints and easily obtained hangovers from here on out!”
“I hope you have a year filled with lots of love & joy! I would say have a year filled with lots of sex, drugs, & rock & roll, but I think we have passed that stage in life!”
11. Advise on Health & Good Decisions
Remind them that they know enough now to do what’s right for them… or that toes the line of what’s good for them.
“Wishing you a year filled with sunshine and G&Ts… oh, and healthy and happiness, too.”
“You are officially old enough to make the right decisions, but still young enough to make the wrong ones. Choose wisely. Make it a great year.”
12. Ask Rhetorical Questions
Having a conversation with them, but actually with yourself, is always entertaining to read.
“You’re so old. (How old am I?) You’re so old when you saw Jurassic Park, it brought up person flashbacks.”
“I bet you got lots of cards and messages on your birthday. What about after? What about when the balloons withered? What about when the cake is gone? Who’s thinking about you then? Who’s keeping the joy alive a week later? I am. That’s who. me. Happy belated birthday.”
13. Remind Them They Have More Years to Do What They Love
Getting older isn’t the worst. With age, you know who you are and what you like. The extra years just let you enjoy those things. Remind them of that!
“May you live to fart for years to come… especially the soft and silent ones.”
“May this birthday be filled with more kisses, wine, love and laughter. And may your heels stay high, your boobs supple and your buns tight.”
14. Inspire Death Defying Acts
Some people truly live life to the fullest, and that is inspiring. No matter if they’re just getting on in their years or they live every day like it’s their last, their birthday is a time to pay tribute to their accomplishments… and to poke fun at their faults, too.
“You are my role model, inspiration, and reason why I max out my 401k contribution.”
“I’m so glad you haven’t died yet! I hope you have a great day with all of your old fart friends, playing golf and eating red meat.”
15. Play the Confusion Card
You can really lay the aging aspect on thick if you act shocked that they would let themselves get older. It’s a soft, cute way to pick on the birthday guest of honor.
“What’s this about you having another birthday? Don’t you know that is what old people do?”
“It’s that time of the year again where I remind you that, Jesus Christ, you’ve aged. Stop that! How will you tell your gray hairs from your blonde? Or open medicine bottles? You’re genetically disposition for arthritis. Stop playing this age game!”
Send a Funny Birthday Card Today
Now go forward and write a card that will make them giggle, because really, isn’t laughter the best birthday gift of all? Open the Punkpost app or website to send a funny birthday card today.
Check out these card collections:
- Birthday Card Collection
- Belated Birthday Card Collection
- Friendship Card Collection
- Congratulations Card Collection
- Encouragement Card Collection
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