…I am Tired of the World…
It’s been ages since I’ve written a personal blog post. I usually dabble in game design, politics, criticizing the church, writing sermons, or ranting about how much I hate people who don’t put back their grocery carts. Been a while since I’ve sat down at this typewriter and just bled onto the page. Also much like most of my more personal off the top of my head blog posts, don’t expect much structure. Anyway, here I go again.
Throughout my life, I’ve been watching the world become almost entirely digital. Jobs, social media, schools, entertainment, even ordering in food, you name it, it can be done on your phone. Even some peoples’ dogs have Instagram accounts and the porn industry exploded (unfortunately), online gaming has never thrived so well, you probably feel like you can never leave your office without your phone possibly reminding you of emails and office drama. Let's face it, if the internet went out one day… we’d all lose… everything.
I’m currently 23 years old. I grew up on various video games, road hockey, and dial-up internet. It was a magical day when one day I could play an online videogame in 2006. The world would never be the same from that moment on. Though most of these things technically started in the 90s, I was so young Leftists were arguing over the right to abort me post-birth (it’s a real argument; look it up). Looking at things now, things have only gotten better, or have they? I can honestly say gaming is the best hobby I can think of. It’s given me friends who I’ve never seen face to face, and yet I know them better than anyone I know at my church. Gaming is a place that gives you something to do and chat with friends who usually have the same taste in games, a great common interest to begin a friendship or at least a conversation. However, unlike other hobbies I’ve participated in, once you and a friend (or 9 friends) have entered a flow state, the conversation transitions from “I’m Reloading” to “Sorry to hear about the divorce.” It’s an oddly human place to interact. It actually really saddens me to think there are people who haven’t experienced it. A place where emotions are so raw, and where people have no reason to hide anything because you can’t tell anyone else in that person’s life all thanks to anonymity. I’ll come back to this point later.
However, technology isn’t always such a nice thing. I’d argue that gaming of all kinds has been a net positive for the human race and I’m sure there are many other examples where technology has done more good than bad. However, I am starting to wonder if there are any advantages to one piece of technology that you have either in your pocket, in arms reach, or worse, you’re reading this on it. Your cell phone.
The infamous Smart Phone. When I was younger I used to think old people hating on technology was only because they were old and didn’t understand it. Though that’s often true, I’m not old, and yet I and many others hate this device in particular. Whether by accident, on purpose, or somewhere in-between. The smartphone is being used to track almost everything it does and report back to large companies who then use this information to feed us propaganda, selective news, opinions those companies deep worthy of being spread, and advertise to us. Meanwhile, they suppress voices they do not like, keep you in the dark of certain news, and give you lots of instant means of gratification. Whether it’s a loser using it for porn, or someone who is as disciplined as myself, using it to harmlessly browse memes the odd time. I used to be able to watch Lord of the Rings in one sitting and only move to grab another cookie. But now I can hardly get halfway through without checking my phone several times. I am well aware of the effects this small black rectangle has on me. I hate it.
About 5 years ago I began watching the world much more closely. Slowly I got more and more into politics, I studied economics, I read countless articles which mostly were all bull crap, and I watched as “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me” turned into “words are violence.” I am very grateful for all that I have and I am reminded of that every time I walk into my bedroom to see my favorite weapon of mass destruction… my gaming PC. A device that can be used to spread basic truths that these days, will cripple millions of thin-skinned losers. However, so many people today have no idea how blessed they are. Living in Canada or the United States, perhaps the 2 most free countries in the world. But they’ll vote it all away in the name of safety. Turning to the government to replace their parents, wanting an easier life handed to them, instead of trying to grow their strength to handle the world. Selfishness, entitlement, jealousy, and downright evil, plague our lands. Instead of working to be strong and have bridled power in order to handle a free but dangerous world, people would rather drag others down with them in the name of equality. They remove freedom from others because they’re too weak, foolish, and scared to handle it. They’d rather everyone be weak like them.
When was the last time you went on your phone or a computer and visit websites other than Google, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Amazon, Instagram, TikTok, and a few other massive websites? 99% of internet traffic, is on these platforms. They are the monopolies that control our society, they probably have as much or more power, than our governments. I sometimes fear that the masses that are less aware of these things and growing up with so much influence via their cell phone will be steered into what these companies want them to be. I know as well as any young adult how easy it is to take a step away from one’s parents and into the digital world. I somehow ended up alright, though I was deliberate with where I spent my time. I’m not so sure most are. So many people being force-fed information they didn’t even necessarily ask for. Being told lies and being convinced that very depressing lifestyles are what they need to be happy. Perfect skin, lots of money, you deserve a living wage, everyone is perfect the way they are, and countless other lies that my generation and beyond believe. Hard work, commitment, leaving one's comfort zone, admitting your mistakes, fighting bad habits, working on good habits, loving your enemies…. these are a thing of the past.
There was once a time where I’d grab my surfboard and surf the world wide web and find small chatrooms with goofy user names and gifs. People would discuss video games, new movies, play Dungeons & Dragons via text chat, maybe discuss their high school drama… times were simple. Us gamer nerds were on chat forums for gamer nerds and other people were someplace else. But now we’re all defaulted to sites like Twitter. A loud place where people hate on everyone and everything. Maybe I’m seeing the old days of the internet with rose-tinted glasses, but I don’t remember the hatred. I remember real discussions, people making friends, it was a niche of geeks who were just looking for a peaceful place to find people who liked the same games they did. We didn’t browse the same 5 websites, there were no monopolies, there were no rules even. People could say and do horrible things online and yet no one got hurt. If someone was awful, you’d just not talk to them and let them be awful by themselves. But then the masses came, the thin-skinned losers, the jocks, the ‘cool kids’ showed up. It’s only been downhill since.
I’ve decided that I’m going to be moving onto small sites, smaller online games, those niches that I’ve always loved, that deserve more love. I used to love Google, they gave us free tools online and were the best search engine…. but these big companies are now authoritative and intrusive. I hate you Google. I’ve moved all my digital tools away from Google and other large companies, and yet it’s all still free. There are other options out there that are still free and I’ve actually found them to be better. So, to anyone reading this, if I may. I’d like to encourage you to use other search engines and other digital/online tools that aren’t from these large companies. Keep the government small, the companies small, and then they’ll fall in line. They work for us, not the other way around. Fight back now in the small ways, and hopefully, we won’t have to fight back in big ways.
After watching the world suck for so long. I wish I could just become a hermit with my soon-to-be-wife and leave society behind. But as a Christian, I know that’s not the answer. I know we need to fight back and show the truth and God’s love. But what can men do against such reckless hate? This is a question, in which I have no answers.
I’ll leave you with this:
“My Brothers!
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.
An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day!
This day we fight!
By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!”
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