Hopes and Dreams

As I grow older, my hopes and dreams have become very… realistic. When my dream was once to be a writer, it has now turned into something like making a good amount of money to provide for my family or advancing my career every year.

Looking back, I used to dared to dream big. Sadly, somewhere along the way I think life got the better of me and I know too well the feeling of dreams that came crumbling down. The bitterness and the sorrow that came from it. Oh how I wish that to never happen to anyone.

Whatever your dreams are, I hope they never die. I hope you get to live your dreams, with how limited our lives are.

I dreamed of hiking beautiful mountains with my loved ones, as reaching new heights always feel better when done together.

I dreamed of writing my own book.

I dreamed of laying in bed at night with a partner and also a friend (quite possibly also my favorite enemy), someone I can talk to, to share laughters with, and to share silence with.

I dreamed of soaking in an onsen while talking to random strangers about life and their experiences.

I dreamed of watching aurora while hugging my favorite person in Iceland.

I dreamed of teaching my kids on how to climb and the joy of patience and figuring out puzzles (or life).

I dreamed of hugging my kids tightly as I kissed them and pat their head, and let them know that they’re very brave to have done their best today.

I dreamed of taking a good and long walk for hours in the autumn watching as the leaves getting reddish and starts falling from the trees.

I dreamed of running not behind, but beside you.

I dreamed of getting soaked in the sun for hours, my skin smelling like heat, salt and sand.

I dreamed of watching exhibitions and installations that moved me so much that I began to cry.

I dreamed of visiting every library and museum around the world.

I dreamed to not let my heart get broken easily. And even if it did get broken once in a while, I hope it makes me stronger.

I dreamed of writing a script for a movie.

I dreamed of playing board games with my friends and family, as we sit down on the grass in the park at noon, while we sip beers or wines and munch on cheese and crackers or sandwiches.

I dreamed to paint my bodies with more arts. To remind myself of the battles I’ve fought and its lessons learned, and all my strengths and weaknesses.

I dreamed of playing music again, no matter how bad I might be.

I dreamed of watching people I love growing old together with me.

I dreamed of helping others become the best version of them.

I dreamed of waking up beside my favorite person every day until we’re grey haired and old. Never getting bored with each other.

I dreamed of letting people know that happiness should not be sought, that life seeking happiness is a life wasted. That a life is always filled with both happiness and darkness, and the will to continue living despite all of that is what makes us strong and beautiful.

I dreamed to learn how to let people go graciously.

I dreamed to let my kids know that their scars and wounds are testaments to a life that is fought well. They are not a sign of something broken, but a remembrance to a life that is lived courageously.

I dreamed to let people close with me know how grateful I am for their existence, that their presence are like the sun that is starting to creep up at dawn, lighting up the night sky.

So think well, what are your hopes and deeams?