They Come and Go

I think it was early last year when I had my first tattoo. Looking back at it, its meaning rings truer now more than ever.

The concept was a railway as my life journey and all the people who passed through my life; each of them bringing their own colors into my life. There are those who warmth my heart with their light, those who darken my life taught me that all actions come with consequences, those whose colors calmed me down with their presence, and the list goes down.

Since getting inked, it has been an amazing experience (admittedly, sometimes weird, ironic and chaotic), of learning people and myself a bit more.

This year has been filled with letting go of people that I once cared, and learning that letting go can also be an act of caring. That everything has its journey, and while some journey might overlap with others, but in the process our journey might drift apart and that is okay. We all have different journey to experience, and different battles to fight.

My tattoo reminded me of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve met some people whose words and actions hurt me, be it intentional or unintentional. And yet, it is a good reminder that the process of healing come afterwards, slowly but surely. Once healed, I think our heart grow in size to have bigger capacity of accepting and giving love.

Vice versa, for some people, I might be a villain in some phases of their life. And I’ve come to accept that it is okay. The world is not black and white, and there is no definition of good and bad people. We do what we do best according to the circumstances. What we thought we did best, could be perceived as worst for others, and that is fair. I think, we all have different roles in people’s journey. I might be a hero to some and a villain to others; both at the same time.

I think that’s the wonderful thing about human, the duality of us. That we can be cruel and yet be kind. The complexity of us puts me in awe.

I have had my share of traumas, some resolved and some not. But I think this year has really taught me to try to understand people and their multiple sides more. There is always a story to each of us.

It’s a contemplative year for sure, I realized our heart is capable of so many good things. Acting kind in the middle of a storm is one of them. Kindness can be many things, one of them is detaching myself from situations and people that won’t let me grow.

The complexity of human, their presence and colors, are one of the things I will always ponder on. While I will forever appreciate and be grateful of the people who have given me a piece of them, in the end I know that it is my journey that I must faced. I boarded this train alone, and I will leave this train alone.