Gracious
To someone special
When we first met, we were freshmen,
We had just gotten admission, and you were a friend of a friend,
I had noticed you then,
I always thought of you as the one who had a smile for everyone,
You made an impression on me.
The first time I knew I was in love was an afternoon class in the white house,
It was in our second undergrad year, you had just plaited a new hairstyle,
I could remember your face as you smiled and laughed while talking,
It was so beautiful, and for the first time, I noticed you.
I know I didn't show it, then I had a misconception that I couldn't tell you how much I found you attractive,
So, I admired you from afar and was content with being a friend,
The first time I thought about asking you out,
I was so nervous I needed a little bit of help on how to go about it.
So I met one of my friends then, who I thought knew everything about how to ask a girl out,
Looking back at it, maybe I shouldn't have done that,
I should have just walked up to you, but I wasn't brave enough then,
What if it was one-sided? what if you only thought of me as a friend and nothing more,
So when he told me you were not the kind of person for relationships, I died a little bit.
And as the term rolled on, we began to get closer,
I had a glimpse at the kind of person you were. You had a beautiful smile as well as a beautiful soul,
And anytime you smiled at me, I fell a little bit in love,
Yet I was too afraid to show you how much you meant to me,
I know when I started dating your friend, I wasn't quick to let everyone know,
Maybe it was an attempt of trying to forget about you,
Maybe if I tried dating someone else, I would feel a little bit of what I felt for you.
Yet I found myself oftentimes comparing the both of you,
I know it was wrong, but I couldn't stop,
Looking back at it, I couldn't help but wonder why I dated someone else.
No one was good enough of a substitute.
When I finally ended it with her, I was a little bit despondent,
My attempt at finding a little bit of love wasn't as successful,
Yet you were there, in my corner,
This was in my third year, and now I was a little bolder and aware of what I wanted,
It had always been you.
And so we even got closer,
I remember all my friends thought you were my woman, and I didn't tell them otherwise,
I didn't tell them that I had always loved you,
I didn't tell them how much you meant to me,
And the biggest mistake was I also didn't tell you.
And so when I saw you with other guys, I saw a bit of red,
Yet I had no say. You didn't know how I felt,
I had no right to beat my chest like the very possessive man I was,
And so I covered it up with jokes and indifference, yet inside, I was a mess,
Yet the biggest obstacle was I had already dated your friend,
Would you have believed me if I had told you I loved you? I would never know.
I had really wanted to talk to you during the after-party,
I was ready,
I remember when you called me that you were at the gate,
I left everything to come meet you,
And then I saw you with him, or it seemed like you were with him,
Before now, I had heard about the both of you, rumors though,
So when I saw it, my mind quickly jumped to conclusions,
I saw red,
I was a jerk that night I know, maybe I should have just asked you,
Or maybe I was more afraid of the answer if i asked you.
Maybe it's too late now,
Yet I don't regret those moments we spent,
Even if you never knew, I have always loved you,
My beautiful gracious,
And no matter how far we go,
You will always have a piece of my heart,
‘Property of Gracious’ it would say.
