Woman-ing. (#1)
As people were talking about Adulting as they enter their 20s. The much more suitable case for me was: Woman-ing. Because it seems like to be a woman, it’s something else than just being an adult.
Being an adult is easy, my mental age has always been older ever since ever. That’s why I love it every time I gain another number to my age. By the age 23, I already nailed most of the adulting stuffs: working, giving back to the society, following my passion, taking care of my mental health, maintaining exercise, living alone, maintaining relationships, independently driving and commuting, even compromising and committing. But as a woman spesifically... Man, don’t I know things.
I'm not that animal. I'm just what people called "Tomboy" I think it's an inside out thing. I looked and acted as not a feminim as I can be. I couldn't care less about my appearance or what boys would think when they saw my instagram. And when we're talking about women, there's a wholeeee long list to think about, from head to toe.
(Note: I know there’s women emancipation and everything. But what I’m gonna talk about in this series is more of a natural, biological, cultural sides of woman. Not morally nor ethically.)
The inciting incident that made me realize this, was when my office had lunch together and we were talking about how long we took our shower. Most of the girls would answer "30 minutes to 1 hour or so. There's just so many things to do!" ... And there was me, nodding my head along when the guys answered: "5 minutes, 10 tops." (And still am.)
I didn’t actually plan to be this careless as a woman my whole life. I just didn’t know that what I was doing this whole time isn’t enough. I couldn't blame my mother that I don’t have her to be a good enough role model to follow. What do I expect, she was 40 when she had me, at this point she’s basically a retired mom and I’m just a bonus pension price. I’m cutting her some slacks.
The other option is my big sister, she did try to teach me some woman stuff ever since she got married and be a mother herself. I appreciate her efforts, but since I grow up witnessing her teenage years, I lost half of her dignity in my eyes.
Not to mention, I live with another three big brothers and being friends with more testoterons than estrogens.
When I almost give it up altogether and accepting the fact that this is as best as I can be. There’s another light at the end of the tunnel. Or should I say, at the end of an aisle. My brother married my sister in law a couple years ago. And let’s just say, when it comes to femininity, she’s as close as the rest of the family can get.
Lesson #1: Skin Care
Her biggest credits would be when she taught me about was… Skin caring… When I was 22. The only thing I know about skin care was facial wash. That was because my girl friends in elementary would bring hers at school, and everybody including me was in awe, to see how grown up she was, to have her first acne at the age of 10. But that was it. I only know that we have to wash our face. Nothing else.
Luckily, my ignorance was inline with my blessing, to have a low maintenance face, even during my adolescent phase. Maybe there would be a different story if it were. My face was under attention, less cared, yes. But it’s not bad. It has an acne or two. Blackheads, of course. But you can still look at my face without having to hold yourself from making a comment about it. Credits to God.
I forgot exactly how did my sister in law led to talk about skin caring my face. Was it an offensive conversation? Most likely it was, because it seems to be the only thing that could lead a conversation about skin care is “Your face looks hideous, why don’t you use a skin care.” Or anything subtle from that. Like when your friend offer you a mint.
Anyway, since then, she opened my eyes about moisturizer, sun screen, toner, serum and et cetera. She talked some senses in to me, that skin care is important for the longer term. As an investment so our skin wouldn't be too bad when we're old and cost a whole lot money to treat it. (She had me at being cheap)
But damn, it was like a rocket science for me. I remember that I was trying to watch as many skin care gurus on the internet. But there are so many of it, where do I even begin? Or to know that I was following the right, credible person???
Long story short. I stopped. I just couldn’t bare feeling like shit whenever I watched a video and realizing how BAD my skin was. I just went straight asking her what I should buy and use. And that was I did. Now after taking a shower, I would use a toner and let it dry for a few minutes, then use a serum and let it dry for a few minutes (Seriously, all the waiting is so annoying) and then a sunscreen at day and moisturizer at night. For a person that has zero steps before, this feels like a MAJOR IMPROVEMENT. Isn’t it…?
The answer: NOPE.
I don’t know how and please don't blame me for this. I’m just not that self-concious about my physical appearance. Not because I’m that confident to be a cover girl if I want. But at least, I finally like what I saw in the mirror. After years, I could see the person looking back and with a light heart I could say: “Hey, that’s me!”
And since I’m finally skin caring my face, I feel like I could say that at least I’m trying. If my skin is bad, it’s because the hormone. Because damn well, I’m taking care of my skin! … Or so I thought.
.
.
.
How many of you know something about… Facial?
All I know is celebrities uses it and it was too luxury for us regular people. But just as scaling every 6 months is mandated from a dentist. Facial every now and then was the same thing, from a dermatologist.
I was only aware about this when I noticed that my fore head has so many “spots” and haven’t really been clear since… As long as I remember. I think there were phase when it appear and clear. But at that point, it has been there quite awhile and even tho I used an acne serum, it’s not affecting anything. I started to worry about it because it started to make me uncomfortable whenever I see MRT elevator’s mirror.
So I decided to go see a dermatologist just to consult and see what is actually happening in the island of my forehead. Now, now. I know how expensive they can be and how they can fool you into buying their products. So I’m playing as safe as I can. I asked how much they cost before I went in, at least for the consultation. As soon as they said it was cheap. Enter, me!
I’ve seen a lot of doctors by my self in the past, a psychologist, a dentist. But this is my first time of seeing a dermatologist. I could feel her eyes scanning and observing my skin. So I asked about my fore head, she touched it, and say something between “Not an acne but not a milia. It’s a fat, a dead skin, a black head.”
And of course, offered me to do facial.
I asked the price before of course. And surprisingly it was… Affordable. And I just had my pay check. Why not? This is one of those things that people said “self treat”, right?
So I took the offer and did it. I’m not gonna bore you with all the details of the process. (Let’s just say it got me to understand the term: “Beauty is Pain”) But the whole time I caught myself thinking: “So this is what I have been missing?”
This is what women has been doing during their free time. This is what women has been stressing about. This is what women has been dying to do to be the best version of herself.
And to finally do it myself, makes me feel like I belong.
Not that I like it. I think it’s just something that you must do to take care of this dumb physical human face, so it’s comforting to look at. If I could choose, I’d spend my time doing anything else. (Probably the reason why I was so left out in the first place...)
But at least now I finally covered all the aspects of skin care.
And just as I thought it’s enough to be a woman…
I came home to my brother asking me: “Oh, the baldness in the family runs in to you too?”
BLOODY HELL!
Saturday, 5th February 2022
Written by Purilaw
Published on Purilawed
