A Funny Thing Happened
And it happens all the time
A funny thing happened to me along the way here. Well, a lot of funny things happened, at least that’s how I see it now. It wasn’t always my view. And that view is what changed with the really, really funniest thing to ever happen to me, before or after.
You know how sometimes things occur and they feel like the happiest and most significant event in your life? And not long after they lost their luster. Or worse, you wanted so badly to have that experience or a similar experience again? Or better yet, an experience that blows that one out of the water? And now, that great moment has become a source of frustration and misery. But there’s always hope, right??
Well, there is always a chance that pretty much anything can happen, at any time. So, there’s that. But what does it mean to linguistically change “chance” to hope? That depends on the context. Let me explain.
In just the amount of time it has taken me to write the three paragraphs above, another funny thing happened. This was one of those times that turned things around and brought a new perspective into view. It’s funny because it was totally unexpected. That was the nature of the huge funny thing I started writing about and pretty much all the other funny things I mentioned as well. But it appears this story will not be going where I thought.
As I considered my response to the question about hope, what first came to mind were some of the things J. Krishnamurti said about hope. If not taken in context it was not positive. For instance:
I recall the first time I came across the writings of J Krishnamurti. I was not ready for him. I read some passages where he disparaged “spiritual practice” and especially the practice of meditation. I had sensed that he had some great teachings, but I knew then was not the time to delve deeply into his work. When I did, I was at a place where I understood what he was saying and why. In the fuller context of what he said and the context of where Life had brought me, it was clear what he said was very important and pertinent.
Then, when I came upon his views on hope, I was nearly derailed again. After all, isn’t to be without hope to be hopeless? How could it be right to take away someone’s hope? But I persisted and could see how he was right. You see he was speaking to a woman who had lost the love of her life in a terrible accident. She was deep in despair, feeling loss, wondering if she could ever be happy again. And she was telling him that it was only hope that kept her going. Following his response above she asked, just like we all would, “Are you saying we should live without hope?” And he answered with two questions, “Is there not a state which is neither hope nor hopelessness, a state which is bliss? After all, when you considered yourself happy, you had no hope, had you?”
She understood what he was saying, hope is not present when things are good. It only arises when we are miserable. I tend to call it wishful thinking. But JK was more skilful in his response, pointing out that in the desire to escape from a problem, a way out, we introduce a host of other problems. And with that one cannot confront the problem at hand.
With that, the woman was able to see how it was her fear of betraying her husband that kept her from doing anything that might allow happiness again. JK was all about clearly seeing, and facing what is before us without trying to escape, justify or condemn. He constantly pointed to the importance of Choiceless Awareness and observing all that was going on from that perspective. You see, context matters.
My delving into the works of J Krishnamurti’swork was one of those funny unexpected things for which I will always remain grateful.
However, since that shift in my view regarding hope I had forgotten until today another nagging “issue” I had with his view. And that brings us back to at least a portion of what I believed would be the topic of this essay.
You see the most significant of those funny unexpected events that did not seem so funny at the time was my decision to leave the religious tradition of my family when I was 17. It is not necessary to go into what, why, and how of that event here. What is relevant is the fact that, although I was disillusioned with the Christian tradition, two important beliefs remained. The first was based on a deeply felt knowing that “God is Love” and the second was a scripture that kept me connected to that conviction. It’s found in 1st Corinthians 13:13 where the apostle Paul writes “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
Today after writing that backhanded question, “But there’s always hope, right?” I turned my chair, as I often do, to open my mind to what was next. To my surprise, it was that verse that led me to Google “faith, hope, and love in the bible”. I followed the top link. What I found enabled me to reconcile my “issue.”
While I am not fully aligned with the theology and doctrines the views of the site presented (neither do I disparage them) I found the author’s metaphor of how “faith, hope, and love” should be considered as three necessary ingredients to be a wonderful reminder that “context matters.” That, coupled with his definitions of faith and hope resonates deeply with me. He takes faith in this passage to be “a steadfast trust in God and his works” and hope to be the “perseverance of faith” based on that trust.
You see, in 1990 I had a not unexpected and therefore a very unfunny experience. I longed for more depth in my spiritual life that had carried me through almost 20 years of marriage that, to say the least, had many ups and downs. But I was not comfortable returning to my traditional roots. I was in a spiritual crisis and did not know where to turn. Then a month or so later on returning with the family from a vacation in Florida I unexpectedly picked up a book that did not appear to be remotely relevant to my situation, but it turned out to be a pleasant surprise and inspired a furious flurry of following my intuitions and picking up book after book that required opening up to new possibilities.
I did eventually resume meditation, which I had tried and abandoned a decade or more earlier. But it was simple by my design and opened to a comfortable stillness. Within a week or so of rather haphazard indulgence, I woke up one morning unusually energetic and feeling rather blissful. Beginning then and over the next three days I felt like I was engulfed in a sea of love, everywhere I went and everywhere I looked. I won’t go into more details, suffice it to say it was indescribable. The day after the experience began to wain and settle an old friend came to visit and as I tried to share with him what had happened and he clearly did not understand what I was getting at and what was driving me I nearly shouted, “I just want to know what love is!”
The past 3 decades have been dedicated to moving into deeper and deeper understandings of Love and secondarily trying to understand why and how this happened, presumably so I could share with others something that would help them as I had been helped through a gradual but steady transformation of my life and relationships. The marriage that I was sure was about to end in 1990 endured. We quietly celebrated our 50th anniversary two weeks ago.
So here is the first point of this essay as I intended. Should you be blessed with an indescribable spiritual experience whether a few moments or days, it does not matter, do not waste time or attention in the hope of repeating it. Do not diminish it, by imprisoning it in the past nor frustrate it by pushing it into the future. It is there with you now, don’t let a false hope distract you.
The unexpected point I add now is that I have discovered that it was my steadfast Trust that Life (God if you wish) is Love that allowed me to persevere with genuine hope based on trust that I too am Love in and Loved by Life. In whatever way you can discover those three, Faith, Hope, and Love, go with it.
