May the Best Memories be Free of Stains and Scars
Author: Lakmi Ray
This write-up is not about any complaint against any particular person, but is about raising my voice against some existing negative norms. When such events happened in our lives it did not really matter much back then as we were too young to distinguish the right from wrong. But as we grew up, we realized how wrong they were. Back then in the mid nineties when we joined school, we were about 4 or 5 years old. School was one happy place to visit, for studies, teachers and friends but there was some experience which when we recall now seems to be a gross violation of privacy even for a child of 4. Looking back at these dark episodes does stain our golden memories.
We were supposed to wear white panties under our white frock. While it made no sense to most of our parents, they were still fine with it; but I am not sure if the actual checking of whether white panties were worn, by lifting the frock, was in any way ethical or right.
Moreover, why was there such a strict need to validate if at all white panties were worn? Why was it necessary? How was it in any way part of disciplining us? Such questions remain unanswered even today.
Back then as we did not understand if this was right or wrong, we seemed to be happy as normal children, but realizing how wrong it actually was does somewhere create a discomfort even today. Such experiences no child should have, because not everyone realizes growing up that it was wrong and for those who realize, the memories are scarred forever.
Apart from these uncomfortable experiences of childhood, there were some more experiences which I had encountered when I was in my late teens and was about to appear for my boards. It was one rough patch of my life.
My personal life was shaken up completely with the untimely loss of one of my parents. It was difficult to focus on my studies and it was just one month more to my pre-board examinations. I somehow managed to give the exams but could not score as much as I should have, especially in one of the papers.
Once the answer sheets and marks were out, I went to the teacher of that one subject where I scored the lowest and asked her what I could do to improve myself and get good marks in the board exams. The reply was astonishingly demotivating. She told me — “It is beyond your capability to do any good, you will not get any better at this, you are finished, ruined, it’s over for you.” She was aware of how I was as a student and what I had been through.
All I expected was a bit of motivation to fight against odds and do what I was capable of. Maybe being so rude and strict towards students does not always do the trick of motivating them.
It might crush their self-esteem. Same would have been the case with me but I was saved because my family stood rock solid and helped me pick up my pieces and glue them back together and work harder.
Not all teachers or customs in school were bad but some did leave a bad mark in my memories as may be for many others. It is a request to all those to make it better for the upcoming generations so that when they grow up and look back, they can find nothing but a bunch of golden memories. No stains, no scars.
About the Author: Lakmi Ray
Lakmi is a Software Engineer by profession with five years of work experience in a Multinational Organization that deals with the Telecom Sector. She is a passionate traveler, photographer and utilizes every opportunity she gets to step out of the city for a break. In her leisure time she loves to paint and try out new recipes!
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