Not talking about every single detail
—Written by an anonymous friend
Talking about not talking seems ironic, doesn’t it?
After my first psychedelic trip, there was so much I wanted to talk about. I wanted to recount how I felt and narrate my experience to whoever showed half an iota of interest. But the catch was this — the more times I describe an experience, the more I start associating with my story and words rather that the actual event. One starts relating more to our memory of the experience rather than the experience itself.
It’s not even about the trip anymore; in general, it’s almost impossible to describe an experience to someone accurately. Think about how many details you’re missing about each moment — your thoughts, emotions, reactions, and environment. You obviously condense all your experience into a few words.
Here’s an example: “Hey! So this morning, I looked outside my window and saw a kid chasing a butterfly. Such a feel-good experience! I thought about how simple life can be if we choose to make it so. I then wondered if I might have kids of my own some day. 30 seconds later, I was contemplating my own love life and whether I would marry that person I’ve been talking to for the past year.”
Here’s what I could keep expanding on and still never give a complete picture of:
- The context: everything about my life that culminated in me looking outside this window
- My emotions: exactly how I was feeling in the moments prior to looking out, what really comprised of this ‘feel-good experience’, exactly how I felt when I thought of my own love life
- My reactions: how exactly I reacted to the kid, the butterfly, my future kids, love life, person
- My thoughts: what exactly I was thinking in every moment of this incident
And I’m still probably missing out so much.
We dedicate so much of our time perfecting our words and explanations of our own experiences, dividing everything into right or wrong by a totally arbitrary moral line that then justify the line like it’s inherently accurate, compartmentalizing every action we do into ‘purpose’ buckets, and living life according to a strict set of rules that god knows who’s defined. The problem, however, with living in this world of black and white is that you miss out on the powerful beauty of the grey.
Screw obsessing over being perfect, stop chasing — just enjoy the feeling as it comes, however it comes, in the moment, and let the universe happen to you.
