I’m Not Ready to Make Nice
An open letter to my abuser
“They say time heals everything… but I’m still waiting.”
— Not Ready to Make Nice | Dixie Chicks
If you know me or have been a long-time reader or follower of mine, you know that I don’t shy away from the hard things. I am open and honest about a lot of things including my depression and anxiety. Some of you may know that I’m also a sexual abuse survivor. And if you didn’t — now you do. What a lot of people don’t know though, is how many times I’ve been silenced about this part of my life. How many times I’ve been labeled a “liar,” (see below confession from a family member) and an “attention-seeker,” and a “whiny baby who didn’t understand what actually happened.” Listen, none of us are strangers to the way things are in our society. The way rape culture is rampant. The way abusers are protected instead of punished. The way a victim’s voice is pushed aside. You’ve seen the media coverage, just as I have. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve been enraged by it. But how do you deal with it when the situation has happened and is happening to you? How do you go about your day with a smile, knowing that the man (and his family) who hurt you is walking around without a care in the world because he knows that his punishment will be light? How…