Simple Tools to Manage Conflict

Managing conflict is a part of working with people and groups of people. Consider the environment of sport, there are many opportunities for things to not go according to plan. Teams face adversity regularly. When teams are faced with tough times, emotions rise and conflict can and will happen in the blink of an eye.

What separates the great teams from good teams is how they handle adversity.

As a coach or a leader of your team, it’s extremely beneficial to have quick tools to manage conflict effectively. These simple tools will help you be more in control when athletes, peers, or teammates begin to disagree and cause conflict.

Understand the Facts

The first step in managing a conflict, disagreement, or emotional flair up is to understand the facts in the situation. In order to make informed decisions you need to be informed! Therefore, seek out those who are involved and ask questions. Example questions:

• When did the event happen?
• Are these conflicts happening in a pattern?
• Who is involved? Is it the same person?
• How do athletes react to the conflict?

A key point of this stage is to remain objective. Do not let your emotions or beliefs take hold. The goal is to look at the facts of the situation in order to make a plan for action. Once you have gathered all the information it should be easier to manage moving forward.

Empathize

Now that you have the facts, the next step is to recognize the emotions involved. As a coach or leader you will need to guide your athlete to understand where the other individual or group is coming from. This means using language that identifies the emotional experience of each athlete. Look at the reasons why some of the actions have occurred. There are common emotions that athletes’ experience:

• Intensely passionate about the sport
• Feeling cheated about the results
• Frustrations about their personal performance

Oftentimes athletes may not even have the language to identify the way they feel. Athletes, leaders and coaches who possess a greater awareness of their emotions are more effective in managing other’s emotions. Understanding the emotions involved can help groups in conflict to understand and feel the way the other group feels. When individuals can put themselves in other’s shoes, the groups are able to have discussions and work toward common ground.

Read the Situation

Not every emotional outburst is going to require conflict management. There will be times when emotions run hot during tough games, adverse situations, and long workouts. This is part of the game and part of being an athlete. As a coach it will be key to tune into your athletes to understand when the situation is just a ‘one time thing’ or the beginning of a bigger issue. Knowing your athletes not only helps in their athletic development but also is key in their character development. This involves the first tool asking yourself and those around you questions to make sure the facts are understood.

Bring in Joy

As mentioned time and time again, the purpose of sport is to have fun. When things get tough, pressure can be released through laughter and joy. Teammates that go through difficult conversations can move on and build stronger relationships through inside jokes and shared stories. Strong teams are built on shared experiences and language. Teammates that can appropriately laugh together after a conflict demonstrate maturity. They have processed the conflict and now they are ready to move on to the next step as a team.

As a coach or leader, it will be key to incorporate team-building exercises early on in your season. These exercises give the athletes the opportunity to develop inside jokes, a shared language, laughter, and create trust. These components become essential during adverse moments of the season.

Final Points

With these tools, your group can begin to understand one another and move towards a solution. As your team begins to resolve the conflict, it will be beneficial to set individual goals or develop a team goal around improving behavior moving forward. This will help the team from reverting back into the recently resolved conflict.

Additionally, a key component to conflict management is to take preventative measures. The greater understanding you have of your individual athletes, the more equipped you are to help your athletes in any setting. Start to recognize your own emotional experiences as this empowers you to understand your athlete’s experiences. Additional preventative measures include developing a shared language and understanding the individual differences of your athletes through team building.

Thanks for reading! I am a Certified Mental Performance Coach. I currently have a few select spots open for coaching. Set up a free 15 minute phone consultation with me by sending me a message here!