How to have constructive conversations at work and at home
Coaching in daily conversations with colleagues, employees, family and friends
Who participated in our Summer Networking event on 5 July, surely remember this day for the session on everyday coaching for life and work given by Kat Matina founder of Relaunch Coaching.
Topic of this session was how to have more impactful conversation at work and at home: it often happens that a colleague, friend or family member talks about a difficult situation, a challenge, a problem that makes her/him stuck or just complaining non stop.
Luckily coaching can offer us some simple tools to make those conversations more productive, inspirational and empowering.
i) Active listening
In the best-case scenario, while you listen to people (and people listen to you), you make your own assumptions even before they manage to express their thoughts in full. In the worst-case, you do not even listen to them. Stop doing this is the first step to have impactful conversations. Try instead to listen with genuine curiosity without rushing in with your own assumptions.
Just be present and listen with genuine curiosity like when you observe a situation you do not know anything about.
ii) Powerful questions
Of course, you do not have to be just a listener, your speech is needed but you need to avoid to immediately give advice: make questions instead!
Questions are more provoking and make your counterpart more conscious of her/his problems. You should just follow these two rules: ask open questions and do not ask Why questions.
For example, when a colleague comes to you because he is not able to perform a certain task, do not simply offer an advice on how to do it; ask “What’s an exact challenge here for you” and “How can I help?”. Do not offer what for you it is the straightforward solution because it is YOUR solution. This does not mean you cannot tell your opinion but be careful of not imposing it: use sentence like “can I suggest something?”
Enhance the conversation asking “And what else?” and do not be afraid of pauses while you are posing powerful questions, by making jokes or asking more questions. Give your counterpart some time to think.
iii) Reflecting back
To intensify the effect, show your counterpart that you listen to them by paraphrasing and summarising their issues and the conversation so they will be also able to reflect on that.
If three steps for you are too much, then take just one suggestion: be genuinely curious if you want have an impactful conversation and ask questions instead of giving advice.
Would you like to participate to our next event with Kat Matina? Join us on 11 October to discover other practical tips on how to tame your inner critic.
