How to Deal with Our Thoughts — The Dichotomy of Control
Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens — Epictetus.
Nowadays, information spreads rapidly, making it challenging to filter what is relevant to us. We are bombarded with millions of pieces of information daily, which can be beneficial in some ways.
However, if we delve deeper, this constant influx of information has a significant impact on our way of thinking. As we scroll through content, we come across stories of young successful individuals, friends making money through investments, or people sharing their achievements in various activities. While this information can be inspiring, it can also lead us to question why we seem to lag behind and lack progress in our own lives. Unintentionally, we find ourselves caught up in a race we never intended to join but feel compelled to run.
In summary, the rapid spread of information has both positive and negative consequences. While it exposes us to valuable insights, it can also create a sense of inadequacy and the pressure to keep up with others. Being mindful of the impact this information has on our thoughts and emotions is crucial to maintaining a healthy perspective in the digital age.
In the current generation, there is a growing tendency to follow others in purchasing things we don’t really need, investing in trends we don’t fully understand, or pursuing activities for which we lack genuine passion.
This mentality of constantly seeking validation and approval is undeniable, and I am not exempt from it either. Unfortunately, I find myself defining my life based on how others recognize and perceive me today.
Stoicism — The Dichotomy of Control
Stoicism has been a valuable remedy I discovered for dealing with the overwhelming influx of negative thoughts that seemed to be of no use. As a philosophy, Stoicism empowers us to shape our perspective on life, enabling us to manage negative emotions and enhance feelings of gratitude and happiness.
The specific aspect of Stoicism that I apply in my life is “The Dichotomy of Control,” which differentiates between Internal and External Dimensions of control. Internal Dimensions encompass elements fully within our control, such as beliefs, values, actions, ideas, life principles, and more. On the other hand, External Dimensions consist of things entirely outside of our control, like feedback from others.
One common human tendency is to derive satisfaction and happiness from External Dimensions, which we have no authority over. Stoicism, however, teaches us to shift our focus and find happiness within our Internal Dimension. When we undertake a project, we have control over the entire process — from inception to completion. Yet, once the project is published, responses and reactions become uncontrollable variables. If we place our happiness solely in the external realm, we risk disappointment, as outcomes may not meet our expectations.
By determining our happiness based on what we can control, we can channel our time and energy into taking action on our dreams, irrespective of external responses. This approach often results in gratitude, as our project aligns with or even exceeds our initial vision.
Implementing Stoicism is not without challenges, as we are still human and subject to uncontrollable thoughts. However, the Dichotomy of Control has been instrumental in managing my lack of focus. I redirect negative external thoughts into internal goals and learn to appreciate the process. Sometimes, we achieve success, and sometimes, we learn from setbacks — in the end, the achievements will follow.
Additionally, I practice expecting the worst at first. By setting lower expectations, I may find greater happiness in outcomes that exceed those modest expectations. Ultimately, happiness isn’t solely about achieving high results but rather the rational balance between outcomes and expectations.
In summary, adopting Stoicism is about cultivating neutrality and rationality to stabilize our emotions. It helps us define our end game precisely and remove unnecessary distractions that obstruct our path. Stoicism serves as a guiding principle in balancing our reactions and aligning our perspective with the realities of life.
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