Change and the hope of a better future

Standing alone is better than standing with people who hurt you.

As you read this statement, you may reflect upon those you may have known throughout your life who have been physically, mentally or verbally abused by a partner, spouse or family member.

Our society is fraught with violence.

Violence against spouses. Violence against children. Violence against the elderly. Violence against acquaintances or even strangers.

Violence is a scourge in our community. Domestic and family violence is a stain on our society.

As president of Queensland Law Society, I am a leader. And I am passionate about leading by example.

All of us — regardless of our positions in work, at home or in our communities, are leaders. We each have a leadership role to play in continuing this important dialogue about domestic and family violence.

With this month being Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month, I thought it timely to continue to dialogue myself by urging you to take action.

We need more than dialogue. We need action, because action changes things.

We don’t need sugar coating of issues such as these. Some things are painful, confronting, alarming. So much so that often we feel the need to clothe it in a softer coating in order for it to be palatable.

But there is nothing palatable about domestic violence, and no amount of sugar coating will make it easier to digest.

Yes, it may not be happening to you, but you can be almost certain that it is happening to someone you know. A family member, a friend, a colleague, a neighbour or even an acquaintance.

Thus, it affects you. And it is your responsibility, and indeed, our responsibility. It is the community as a whole who must take action.

I am fond of Hillary Clinton’s quote:

“Twenty years ago, I wrote a book called ‘It Takes a Village.’ And a lot of people looked at the title and asked, ‘What the heck do you mean by that?’ This is what I mean. None of us can raise a family, build a business, heal a community or lift a country totally alone.”

As a community, we must ensure that none are left alone in these circumstances.

I am confronted by the fact that this year alone, 17 women have sacrificed their lives as a result of violent acts. In 2016, a total of 73 women lost their lives due to violence.

Is this acceptable to you? Are you appalled by this figure? Do we as a society stand for this? Or do we stand up and take action?

Is it acceptable that your mother, your sister, your daughter, your aunt or grandmother may die at the violent hands of another person?

It is also not just women affected by domestic and family violence. It may be your brother, father or grandfather that are affected.

Do we do something? Or do we carry our shame by turning a blind eye?

If you think that we should take action, then it is incumbent upon us as a community to get involved.

In the legal profession, we stand on the frontline of the consequences of domestic and family violence.

The obvious frontline consists of those who represent people, not just victims in domestic violence matters — it includes those who represent people in family law matters and in elder abuse matters.

But this scourge touches the legal profession in far deeper ways. For example, it’s not commonly understood that domestic and family violence can also affect our work colleagues and other clients.

It’s not just physical spousal abuse; it is also emotional and financial abuse. We may even see it in our elderly clients suffering from financial elder abuse.

Did you know that 60 per cent of financial elder abuse is perpetrated by adult children? Financial elder abuse is recognised as domestic violence in the Not Now, Not Ever Report that QLS was heavily involved in, however, it is not broadly understood in the community.

Domestic violence is elder abuse. It is revenge porn. And perhaps, the worst of all, we see domestic violence in the abuse on our most vulnerable — our children.

It doesn’t just involve physical abuse upon them, it includes them observing the abuse on those they love. The mere fact that they are witnessing this is abuse in itself.

What we need is change and the hope of a better future.

It’s our human inclination to feel overwhelmed when we are confronted with this distressing reality.

We ask ourselves how we can possibly make a difference.

I’m no superhero we tell ourselves. But we don’t need to be a superhero.

Each of us can take small steps, and I encourage you to keep taking these small steps towards a more loving community — one free of violence in all its’ insidious forms.

This can be achieved by taking action, which may be as simple as keeping your eyes and ears open and letting empathy guide you in your dealings with victims of domestic and family violence.