Becoming a Leader — Part 2
In part 1 of the series I suggested that we sit down and dedicate some time to a reflection which, essentially, would provide a diversity of answers to this one question: “Why am I inspired to be a leader?”
There’s a bundle of household names which are tossed around, and for the sake of making my point I wouldn’t even be calling them because what matters most is not the name of a person as covered in media — because, who knows, maybe we are getting it all wrong , and what if those “celeb tech leaders” have another version of them, which they prefer to keep private? — but… personal qualities and values that we attribute to those names.
Some of us resonate with the leader figures who represent a vision which hasn’t yet been retarded or compromised by however it worked out in reality, while others feel more attuned to those who have suffered some pains and bumps on their path as a visionary leader, and have been through more than one round of ripping their shirts, confessing their sins, and asking for forgiveness. In fact, the image of a leader who is not afraid to shed the armor of hard-rock confidence has been widely popularized by the works of Brene Brown through the concept of “vulnerable leadership”. And, it appears that what many of us have in common when we think of people who inspire us: we are attracted, as if by a magnet, by their personal authenticity, and averted by even a slight hint of two-facedness. As a side note, some of the celeb leaders might even have overplayed it with the vulnerability card, by apologizing endlessly for their mistakes, and not acting accordingly to correct them. Some of us might have encountered those “perpetual apologizers” personally, at work, and — remember the anti-role model question from part 1? — we swore to ourselves that if ever we are going to be a leader in care of users, clients, customers, or employees — we are going to make a point out of following through on our promises.
… and here we get to the part that has largely been overlooked so far. If we look into what makes the organizations of the “apologizing leaders” tick, we might notice something in common. Yes, we feel compassion to a proverbial vulnerable leader, realizing that no one is safeguarded from mistakes, and all that, but the paradox is this: leaders who repent their sins, so to speak, might be misled themselves about the things that keep them from walking their talk and acting on what they promise. On the emotional side, our hearts melt when a person is genuinely sorry about what they have done or have not done… but, if we attempt to switch off our heart (and, for some of us who are very sensitive it might not be that easy, actually) and look at things coolly, we will see that the point of failure — for which the said “martyr” leader is scolding themselves — is to be found elsewhere, not directly in the behavior that has provided a ground for an apology. The repenting leader, most likely, should have been apologizing for a dysfunction in the organizational setup which inhibits acting upon the org’s values.
There’s only so much that a leader can do personally, but one of the first things they are accountable for — and, I guess, this guideline is fit for any leadership textbook: first thing in the morning, check if your organization is still running in such a way so that at any level of it, any person, not only you, but any lead, or a manager, or a team lead, has everything they need in place to follow through on their promises.
We’ve only considered one instance of how the gloss and toss of leadership might appear through the lens of media — whose old-school job still consists in creating role models — and through our personal lens. And, while we see the images of visionary leaders all over the place in mainstream narratives, no one seems to be bothered with popularizing stories that would eventually save the high-fly leaders from apologizing. How so, you’d ask? There’s another line of leadership called (don’t tell anyone ) “middle management”, and for all the fancy talk about flat organizations, many startups who tried flat — Buffer being one of them — have reverted to a setup with managers. But, since “manager” has become something akin to a swear word — despite the enormous value brought by those people who are not sure how to call themselves— many organizations are faced with a very particular kind of gap. While many want to be leaders, too few want to be managers. And, there’s only so much that a visionary leader can do — beside apologizing — if their organization has not been designed or upgraded with growth in mind to facilitate the coherent functioning on all levels.
The story continues in part 3.
Related:
(tech) Leaders, Managers, and Tennis Umpires
To Glass Cliff Walkers With Love
Beware Flat Hierarchy: A Personal Story
Further reading:
I Am a Technical Lead, but Am I a Manager?
The Next Wave of “Unicorn” Start-Ups
Something Weird Happens to Companies When They Hit 150 People
No Bosses, No Managers:The Truth Behind The ‘Flat Hierarchy’ Facade
