Archaeological remains from the first phase of the Anthropocene

Scientists discovered through the application of new MRI techniques that no more than a dozen police officers were present to keep an eye on the more than half a million people present during the Woodstock event. However, this was not the scientists’ most significant archaeological finding in this interdisciplinary study on the first phase of the Anthropocene. Linguists, by using the most advanced supercomputers, were able to decipher a document containing the words of the humble farmer, named Max Yasgur, who made his land available for the Woodstock event. They came up with the following text which in all probability was spoken on the spot at the end of the third day by him: “…You’ve proven something to the world…the important thing that you’ve proven to the world is that a half a million kids, and I call you kids because I have children who are older than you are, a half a million young people can get together and have three days of fun and music and have nothing but fun and music and God bless you for it!”.