Day 16: be a turn on, but not turned on?

Being an entitled woman in a patriarchal world can be really confusing sometimes.

the other day somebody said “love aside, if a wife refuses to have sex with her husband he will eventually cheat, won’t he? After 6 months, or a year, or 2 years… there will come a time when he sleeps with another woman, because sex is important, and marriage is a transaction. He looks after your financial needs, you provide sex.”

I had so many things I wanted to say but the first thing that came out of my mouth was “but… so would many women. I can’t speak for them all but a lot of us want to have sex – even though the most natural right to cum is still a constant fight but women want to have sex. Many women would also go looking for it outside if they’re being denied it in her marriage, just as men would.”

Women, back in 1800’s and 1900’s may have gotten married to be taken care of, back when women couldn’t have a career – and many aren’t allowed to work today either. RIP, for all the great men that have told me “I allow my wife to work”… – but those that can work, are independent, aren’t getting married to be ‘taken care of’…

So yes, people cheat – regardless of gender. The discussion isn’t that “cheating is wrong”… most people want to attach a gender to it.

Have you ever heard of a girl cheating while she’s pregnant?

Society cannot understand it… heard of a man cheating when the wife is pregnant? “What’s he supposed to do for 9 months? After all, he’s a man & men have desires!”

The structure around infidelity and how we handle it differs depending on the gender. If it’s the man, then “forgive him… he’s the father of your children”

If it’s a woman, then she’s characterless and “ruined”… there’s no “son, what will society say if she leaves you? Let it go, she’s the mother of your children – why deal with the stigma of being divorced? Where will we find another girl?”

I’m not going to stop saying this just because it offends you, gender inequality is real. Even in the bedroom. Women are denied orgasms – what orgasms? What sexual desires?!

Society often says “women have bigger battles to fight than underwear and boobs”… this is not real feminism, it’s entitled, privileged, ignorant women.

So, as an “entitled privileged woman” I think I really struggle with the fact that I’m supposed to be pretty, and attractive at all times. As women, we are supposed to be sexy but not sexual. We shouldn’t be sexually aware, aroused, horny, no, according to society we don’t even touch ourselves…

women should just be a turn on, not be turned on themselves.

So you want to fuck women that aren’t actually sexually aroused themselves? That don’t want to cum? That don’t feel sexual desires themselves? that’s… rape.

And you know, if sex is a privilege then hold on – every man one the side street of our country staring me up and down when I step out to buy vegetables, every man that rapes, every man that visually fucks us as we wait for our auto every day, the ones that whistle or grope on the train – are all privileged. So all men, regardless of education or income, are privileged?

Because in that case, go back on top, know your privilege, and start again.

– excerpts from my book.