Bis Bald, Berlin
Quarantine Diary Week 1 from a Berkeley Junior, abroad in Berlin
Age: 20 |Gender: Female
Occupation: UC Berkeley Class of 2021 student, was studying abroad at Freie Universität Berlin for her Junior Spring semester :)
Current Location: Washington D.C.
Displacement Status: Ended Study Abroad Program
State of calmness: Consciously short of breath (no I do not have corona, I’m just physically anxious)
Reaction to local/state/federal response to the area: Study abroad got suspended. We got sent home. Sad and frustrating because the US currently has TRIPLE the amount of COVID-19 cases than Germany…
I am so sad that coronavirus has cut my study abroad short, but I also understand that my situation is mild compared to other people who are literally dying. I’m still sad to have had to leave this amazing international travel experience.
Day 1 (Friday, March 20, 2020)
I am writing this at 6:31pm in my room at The Student Hotel in Berlin, Germany. I just got off the phone with my mom on What’sApp who was holding another phone connected to United Airlines on the other line, so that I could listen in. I just finished booking my flight back to the United States, which leaves tomorrow morning at 7am. My semester in Berlin has been cut short to only 53 days because of the Coronavirus anarchy.
I am so deeply saddened to be leaving this interesting, amazing, historical, quirky, diverse and incredible city. I have learned so much, explored so many new things, and felt re-energized.
For the past two weeks shit has really hit the fan. My podcasts that I listen to religiously (The Daily, Pod Save America, and The Rachel Maddow Show) have all been incredibly depressing. For a while, I thought that CNN and MSNBC were just sensationalizing the Coronavirus pandemic just like any other event that corporate news media channels try to dramatize as much as possible in order to boost ratings. But, I finally came to learn about the severity of this threat. When Angela Merkel estimated that 60–70% of Germans would become infected with COVID-19, that’s when I realized how bad it was going to be. Clubs, bars, and nonessential shops like vintage and vinyl stores were ordered to shut down. As one newspaper put it, “You know something is serious when it makes Berlin stop partying.” The devastation the electronic music scene and techno clubs here in Berlin will undoubtedly face is tragic. Part of the reason why this city of Berlin is so so special is because of the inclusive, vibrant and wonderful dance, music and nightlife scene that encourages personal expression.
I’m worried about all of the people who will lose their jobs due to businesses, malls and other shops closing down. Everything is so uncertain at this time that it’s just draining trying to predict what will even happen tomorrow. This past 1–2 weeks have been such a whirlwind I feel like it’s been years since I’ve said goodbye to my friends who have already departed the program due to their parents’ concerns. Just yesterday I felt confident and safe with my decision to stay in Berlin until my semester formally ends on May 15. But today after seeing the State Department’s announcement that Americans abroad should “arrange for immediate return to the United States, unless they are prepared to remain abroad for an indefinite period,” I realized that it was time for me to come home.
I am sad to be leaving this beautiful, big, bustling city of Berlin with its Spree that runs through the city and countless bridges to cross. I will miss the bi-weekly open-air Turkish Mercado in Kreuzberg where I bought dried mango. I will miss biking around Berlin exploring the many, fresh, energizing and green parks here like: Treptower Park, Korner Park, Viktoria Park, Tempelhof Field, and Mauer Park. I will even miss my 50 minute long commute where I had to take three different buses to get to the FU-BEST Lankwitz campus for class.
Thank you Berlin for an amazing 53 days.
Day 2 (Saturday, March 21, 2020)
5pm — arrived in Washington DC AirBnb, took a shower to get the airplane off of me
Received a grocery delivery from A, my cousin (lots of beans) and watched “Love Is Blind,” a super dumb but also entertaining reality tv show
Ordered contactless delivery from sweetgreen (quinoa, lentils, avocado, hard boiled egg, basil and a yummy miso ginger dressing)
Talked to M, on the phone. It was nice to hear her voice and catch up a bit.
Attended a virtual dinner party via Zoom with A and S, A’s husband,’s friends, and my mother and aunt haha
11 pm — went to bed. Slept pretty well throughout the night
Day 3 (Monday, March 22, 2020)
8:30am — woke up and went on my phone for a while
9:30am — went on a loop run around the Capitol Building, National Mall and Washington Monument. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom in DC and it’s so beautiful. There were a few people walking around the National Mall, but I could always maintain a lot of space (at least 6 feet) between me and another person. Running through DC is like walking through an outdoor museum — there is so much history and amazing, diverse architecture all around.
11am — showered. Noticed that it is very sunny with clear skies outside, but still very cold.
12pm — ate oatmeal with almond butter, blueberries, sliced bananas and cinnamon while watching today’s episode of “Meet The Press.” Also snacked on dried mango.
1pm — watched more “Love Is Blind.”
10pm — went to sleep.
Day 4 (Tuesday, March 23, 2020)
8am — woke up and went for a jog around the Capitol building
Made oatmeal with apples, bananas and cinnamon
Compiled pictures of my Berlin trip for a Shutterfly photo book
Ate some delicious non-spicy Indian food for dinner courtesy of an auntie
Listened to Pod Save America
9:30pm — went to sleep (the uncertainty of this situation has made me more exhausted)
Day 5 (Wednesday, March 24, 2020)
8am — woke up and went for a jog around the Capitol building. Discovered that Orangetheory is offering a daily video for home workouts, so I did a 30 minute workout after my jog.
10am — made oatmeal with apples, bananas and cinnamon
Finally finished my 51 page Shutterfly photo book! It was nice to look back at photos of my trip, while looking up more information on the sights I saw to include in the book, so it could be #educational and #informative for viewers
1pm — went on a neighborhood stroll through the Capitol district with my cousin A, her husband S and their baby!
Day 6 (Thursday, March 25, 2020)
10am — made oatmeal with apples, bananas and cinnamon (yes I have the same thing for breakfast every morning lol)
Watched Schitt’s Creek (GREAT show), listened to live streams of DJ sets wishing I was still in Berlin, and ate too many cookies
Called Verizon to get a new SIM card delivered because long story short: I had a Germany SIM card while I was abroad, so I took out my US SIM and put it in my wallet, but my wallet got stolen in Prague :’(
Had a group Zoom call with some friends from school and we played online codenames, which is THE BEST game ever
Day 7 (Friday, March 26, 2020)
Facetimed one of my best friends from elementary school. She told me about a show she wrote and directed at Barnard this past semester, which sounded like an incredible experience. I was so happy to hear her because I know how long she’s been passionate about theater and it was so nice to hear some of her dreams turn into reality.
Facetimed my cousin who was born and raised in Germany, and is currently a medical student in Wurzburg, Germany. The last time I saw her face was nine years ago, when she stayed with my family for 3 months in 2011. It was crazy to see her again (though virtually) and catch up on what’s new in our lives. This week, we were supposed to be in Amsterdam and Brussels traveling together for our spring breaks. :’(
Went to Whole Foods to restock on avocados, bananas and apples
Returned some containers to my cousin, and gave her a bag of German Haribo gummies and coffee beans from Berlin new-wave shops! Wrote some cute postcards I bought in Berlin and went for a walk outside to drop them off at the postbox. The weather was so beautiful and warm in DC today. It was the first time in two months that I didn’t have to wear two layers of pants (lmao, godbless UNIQLO’s thermal leggings that kept me nice and toasty in Berlin)
Closing Reflections: I am a daily user of the mindfulness meditation app Headspace. But my routine has been disrupted due to the uncertainty, constant anxiety-producing news, and solitude of the last week and a half. I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself to return to a rigorous focus on school work, eat healthy and be overall productive. However, I noticed that my mind has been so disconnected and distracted, so it’s been hard to focus on a specific task. I felt guilty for not “doing anything” because I am in quarantine, so all there really is no excuse to not do work at home. But, I came to the realization that constant stress was leading me to once again the constant shortness of breath that was my everyday bodily experience before I got my anxiety under control. I read this article being kind to yourself, forgiving, and not feeling guilty for not doing enough under these circumstances. Take a moment to slow down, acknowledge your feelings of anxiety, and tell yourself it’s okay to not feel in the headspace to hunker down on work. Allow yourself space to feel secure, be kind to your body and forgiving to your mental health, then slowly get back into a comfortable routine.
