Prompt : What keeps us going
My Friends
In Search of Beauty
Have been thinking about this since yesterday and it’s timely, as I’ve been wondering about it some, since the pandemic, since it’s coming upon the first year anniversary of Maxie’s death, ending 20 years of living with rabbits, since losing William, my swan friend of 23 years and now not knowing where Bella is; I’ve lost some very important anchors.
I enjoy people, I just prefer animals. I have a wonderful husband and son and I’m grateful for them, I just have few friends in the flesh, it feels like, where you could go to a movie, or out for ice-cream, not that you can do that now anyway. It didn’t bother me before but now that I feel disconnected, it makes it worse. Our neighbors on either side are (forgive this lukewarm word but hateful sounds harsh) ‘un-friendly’.
So in answer to your question (after I have rambled on) what keeps me going is the search for beauty. Wherever she presents herself. Wherever I can find her (I am fortunate to be an avid and artistic gardener, creating much to admire, absorb, and photograph). Growing up, we lived in a tiny little homely apartment, both parents chain smokers (and drinkers) and there was no beauty. The curtains turned black with smoke and no one cared. I vowed that when I grew up, I would create something better for myself, where people weren’t ugly to one another, where lovely things sparkled and life didn’t shrivel up and want to die. And after many years of shriveling up, and a nearly fatal attempt on my life, I have done so.
For me, it’s all about evolving. I want to be better, do better, give better, think better, love better. There’s no end to the work, where you can sit back and put your feet up, satisfied. I am perpetually arriving. I am eager to hear how others power forward. Peace on the journey. Never give up!
LBM 5/23/2020
